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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Conflicted About Continuing, Divorcing/Custody, Co-parenting => Topic started by: euhm on September 15, 2015, 02:31:24 AM



Title: He leaves, comes back, leaves en few days later he is engaged?
Post by: euhm on September 15, 2015, 02:31:24 AM
Hi all,

My exbf left for someone, came back 2 weeks later. Telling me he needs someone like me to keep him on track. The other woman would lead him into chaos ( she is also unstable). Few days later he is doubting again en leaves again. Few days later he is engaged with the other woman 

Because i'm a student and i need someone to drive me there, he will keep on doing this for me ( guiltfeelings he tells other people but I dont buy this), His gf has nothing to say about this.

he

Now he still wants to know what i'm doing, when, with who and gets irritated if he notices I do stuff out of the house.

The relationship with her gives him practical benefiets.

When he left he admitted he still feels for me and also now he says his feelings go up and down about how bad he feels about this. He things this is normal or wants to believe this is normal, but I dont. If you leave for someone else, you should be happy.

ALso his future plans go from 1 thing to another and he is really of track.

I know this is not my prob anymore and I try to let it go, but the love is still there... .

Is it possible they make love disicions based on practical stuff over feelings?


Title: Re: He leaves, comes back, leaves en few days later he is engaged?
Post by: euhm on September 15, 2015, 02:33:58 AM
Owh and this all happened in two months time.

He knows her 2,5 months now


Title: Re: He leaves, comes back, leaves en few days later he is engaged?
Post by: stacma04 on September 15, 2015, 09:42:15 AM
Hi euhm,

I know the love is still there, and only time will heal that. He has no idea what love is and marriage is not something thats going to solve all his issues. I went through the same thing. My exbf and I were NC for 7 months got back together for two weeks and then he goes back to the OW and is now engaged to be married, Mind you, we were looking at wedding rings, venues, dresses, tux etc, before he went and proposed to the OW. All I can say is to stay away from him give him his space and let him make whatever decision he feels is the best. But you have to remove yourself from this. Thats the only way your going to heal and move on with your life.


Title: Re: He leaves, comes back, leaves en few days later he is engaged?
Post by: euhm on September 15, 2015, 09:48:45 AM
Hi,

Thnx for your answer

I dont search for contact with him, so I give him his space. He doesnt and i cant say to back off without a lot of drama and anger.


Title: Re: He leaves, comes back, leaves en few days later he is engaged?
Post by: Daniell85 on September 19, 2015, 12:16:45 AM
What are your boundaries around this?

He's running to and fro and has been dragging you around with him.

He can run around all he wants. You can't stop him. It sucks. You can decide for yourself what you will tolerate as a boundary for yourself to protect yourself from his antics.

Protect yourself. It's ok to do that and stand back while you still love him. Any other option is going to be even more destructive to you than it already has been.

Sorry this is so rough. I know how it is. 


Title: Re: He leaves, comes back, leaves en few days later he is engaged?
Post by: euhm on September 19, 2015, 02:30:15 AM
Have to go to my therapist so hope he can tell me more.

At this momént i see him every day czhe is working across the street for few weeks... another week i think now.

After that i will see him normally once a week to go to school with me. See how that will work out.

I know this aint healthy... .

But it drives me crazy that i dont understand the situation and no one can explain it either.