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Title: Leaving the relationship with minimal fallout ~ Post by: sarahs862 on September 16, 2015, 08:24:39 PM So I have decided to leave and cut contact after less than one month of dating. Now I hear this is the tricky part- she is full of anger and has created a whole alternate universe where I am an evil doer who used and abandoned her- guess theres no way for her to just go away quietly?
Title: Re: Leaving the relationship with minimal fallout ~ Post by: enlighten me on September 17, 2015, 02:59:52 AM Hi Sarah
There is no crystal ball that can show you how she will react. All you can do is try to reduce the collateral damage. Do you have mutual friends? Will it affect your job? Is there anything she can say that can cause you problems? If you do have mutual friends then they will take sides. The ones that believe her version probably thrive on drama so you may want to review if you want that sort of person in your life anyway. Some will just be caring and will buy into her tale. The best way to counter this is to be yourself. Don't lash out or seek revenge. By being the bigger person your exs version will probably be seen through and some of these friends will drop her and come across to your side. Actions speak louder than words. If your job could be affected then have a word with your supervisor if you can trust them. Forewarn them what is happening. This will prevent you from being caught on the back foot and your boss will see it as troublemaking behaviour on their part. If it is something personal then that all depends on what it is. Some people have not told anyone of their sexual orientation so this can be a potential problem if their ex decides to tell the family. Others have committed a criminal act so fear getting in trouble with the law. These Im afraid are down to the individual to decide what they want to do about it. My best advice is to say it wasn't working and leave. Don't get dragged into the drama. Don't react, retaliate or add any fuel to the fire. Only defend what you need to defend. If a smear campaign starts that can affect you and has no validity to it then a polite email saying that if it doesn't stop then you will be seeking legal action will probably be enough to drive it back underground where only her few followers will be able to grumble about you. EM Title: Re: Leaving the relationship with minimal fallout ~ Post by: sarahs862 on September 17, 2015, 03:27:12 AM Thanks EM, she works with some of my coworkers and has signed up to attend an event I'm running next week- best case is she doesn't show but since our new CEO is being introduced at this event I may say a brief word to him in case she does bring drama, appreciated your input. Sarah
Title: Re: Leaving the relationship with minimal fallout ~ Post by: enlighten me on September 17, 2015, 03:52:54 AM Hi Sarah
Its all about covering your back. They can be unpredictable so there is a good chance she wont do anything more than grumble to your co workers. The more they feel threatened the mor they react. I forgot to say Welcome to the family :) |