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After some really horrible stuff with my BPD sister, we will be spending some time with her and her (crazy druggie) husband this weekend. And I'm about to poop bricks! Has anyone done this? Does it work? Any advice about maintaining boundaries would be greatly appreciated! (Also thank GOD for this group, I've learned so much from you all!) ❤️

A Leaving tool: bland, boring, emotionless?

Maybe too much, but keep it in mind. I've found that BIFF works verbally as well: Brief, Informative, Friendly, Firm (if necessary).

I'm attending a wedding reception in my uBPDx's family this weekend. I'm anticipating following my own advice... .

If you're pooping bricks I'd contact a building merchants, could be lucrative.

With NC I've re-started that process with my BPD mom, by e-mail so far. Last time I tried in person, she hit me with a tsunami of accusations "why?" “How could you” . But bombardment was always her trump card.

BIFF sounds great for LC and it would work my NPD bro. But my BPD is very aggressive about getting answers, she escalates it quickly into an argument and an opportunity to become verbally abusive. So I think I’ll need to do a bit of S.E.T. Sympathy Empathy and Truth as she needs loads of validation.

My BPD’s approach to boundaries is to repeatedly ridicule them as silly. So the best advice I’ve had on that is to disengage when you see her going down that road. The tools to disengage are: need a glass of water, need the toilet, change the subject etc... . Best of luck, and remember you can always leave early –you could tell them you need to go to A&E because you’re pooping bricks. Best of luck.  

Thank you so much, this is going to tomorrow. Prayerful and at peace, hopefully it will stick.