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Ok I need some advice everyone

My exBPDp caused another massive event 5 weeks ago which lead to our most recent break up. he has continued to call me most days telling me she is moving on hates me for taking away her dream life calls me every name under the sun then says if I love her I will take care of her. Her pattern is through the week she calls me and abuses me then on weekends she is out drinking with her friends no doubt getting of attention from guys. On the weekends she tends to go NC as I'm sure she has told her friends horrific stories of abuse and it probably wouldn't make sense for her to be in touch with me.

Now in the last week I've started to get sick of the emotional rollercoaster and I started trying to get clarity around what she needs. She has told me that it is over and that she wants to move n but she also follows it up with statements like if you love me you will give me some space to get better and last Thursdays line "I'm not interested in seeing the men and Don't want you dating either" again that was said just after shed told me that she wants me to let her go.

I am completely a mess and love her still but just want something to happen. So I thought I would tell her how I felt to prompt her to make a call. I said in the letter that I loved her and could see that we both needed to grow we just needed to decide if we were going to do that apart or support and do it together. Since the email I have had NC from her for three days, not unusual though as the weekend is her socialite time out getting attention. Last night around 3.30am she rang 3 times obviously getting home but I did not answer as I was asleep.  She has not responded to the email nor left a message last night.

My feeling this morning are to just go NC head overseas for a weeks break and try and focus on me even though I know I will be thinking of her. If I do maintain the NC will it push her to speak with me or will it just make matters worse.

I don't know what to do, I'm terrified of hearing bout her being with another man through the grape vine.

A very odd thing happened early in the relationship she asked me to always be open and honest in the event we were moving towards a break up and always tell I was going to go out with someone else before I ever did it. Her behaviour is not conducive with this as she is out doing who knows what and she is keeping me in the dark.

I have loved and support this girl for 2.5yrs she ha tortured and hurt me numerous times but I dont know why she cant be honest ad reply to my very kid honest email

Do I go NC or not. I need to live.

Any advice guys

She has tortured and hurt you many times?

Would going NC help to minimize that?

Is there any amount of communication that would help? In my case I only went NC because I believed that no amount of communicating would help either one of us in any way.

It seems to me that what was happening with my BPD woman is that she felt like she would wink out of existence if anything in her life hinted that I might disagree with anything that she believes, no matter how innocuous. So honesty was not possible between us.


Will you live if you contact her or if you don't?