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I have been very low contact with my BPDf for a month. When I notified him of the new status of the relationship I expected a barage of abuse. But instead, I got no reply and I'm getting the silent treatment. One of my aunts he talks to a lot has stopped speaking to me, so it's an intentional strategy. My father didn't use the silent treatment with me as a kid so it's struck me off guard. I feel like I'm not important enough to him for him to fight with me. Crazy thought, I know. This should be what I want but it's bothering me. Did anyone go through similar situations?

It does sound like you're struggling with what you wanted initially. He was smothering, weird, and got you fired. What was that communication on your side before you started getting the ST?

It was pretty constant phone terrorism. I would ignore him most of the time and keep the calls to once or twice a week. His emails were less frequent, maybe once a week. Mostly group emails to his friends so they were vacation photos or political stuff. Sometimes I'd get abusive group emails sent to my mother and brother and even his friends I don't know if I ignored his calls too long. He likes to try to use humiliation. I've been LC with him for years but the last 2-3 years he started pushing boundaries. I think because my brother died his attention shifted and his anxiety has been worse. I tried to explain to him numerous times why he couldn't call me any time and expect an immediate answer and that multiple angry messages made me not want to talk with him, but he refused to accept this. I know ending phone calls is appropriate for me. I'm upset he didn't care to fight with me about it. He fights with me about everything especially his right to call me anytime he pleases. An emotional healthy parent would respond to my email and maybe get angry and fight. I feel like my feelings are being completely ignored. I guess he can't deal with it?

I kind of got the same response for my sister. Once I realized what was going on with her (BPD) and learned that my best response was lack of emotion, boring, low expectations... .Well, she basically stopped talking to me once she realized she couldn't get a reaction anymore. Honestly, I see it as a HUGE blessing! Yes, I'd love to have a healthy, amazing family who wants to spend time with me, but we don't have that and prob never will. Sad, but it does make life so much easier!

Been through similar. Think 8 year old kid. The silent treatment is part of their sulk. It's designed to make you feel the way you describe (above).  But just see it for what it is, someone who got stuck emotionally as an 8 year old. The other approach is harassment, i.e. an 8 year old tantrum. Bless. Nothing to do with you. Ironically my BPD does the two together. So she does the tantrum to get attention and then she sulks once you respond. Sadly I am talking about my adult BPDm, not my kids.