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Title: BPD Husband drops out of sight Post by: hollycat on September 29, 2015, 08:00:46 PM Saw him a week ago, as he got most of his things from the house. I thought we parted on terms a little less hostile than they had been. He left some things which mean something to him. I had put his skateboards in his truck and he took them out and stacked them neatly in my garage. He also left his appliance dolly. Why? I texted him about something he left behind; sent text 2 days after I saw him. Something I know he wants and needs. For the first time ever since knowing him, no text back. Could he be punishing me? Possibly waiting to see if I beg for contact? I am NOT, but I would like to know if he is ok. I had invited him for Thanksgiving, to get the rest of his things; pretty sure he will not be in touch, but I don't know. He had a fit when I didn't respond to an email a few months ago, yet he is ok with this silent treatment now.
What the heck? Any insight? Title: Re: BPD Husband drops out of sight Post by: Herodias on September 29, 2015, 08:19:24 PM Calm yourself... .Mine usually would leave stuff behind or took forever to pick things up. It is a reason to be back in touch. If its in your way, then give him a date to pick them up and where they will be sent if he does not after that date. You don't need to do anything... .he will be in touch when he needs them. Just do nothing, it's not your problem unless its in your way. He was trying to be in control of the situation and/or he has no where to put the stuff yet. Don't worry about it. My husband took forever to get his stuff, then he kept leaving stuff behind as a reminder to me... .he left a t-shirt in my laundry. I think I will use it to clean the floor This seems to be common in breakups regardless of BPD or not.
Title: Re: BPD Husband drops out of sight Post by: hollycat on September 29, 2015, 08:35:06 PM The things are not in my way. The garage is detached from the house and I rarely have a reason to go in there, so I don't even have to look at his things. The NC thing is tough. I have pretty much resigned myself to listening to friends, family and wise members of this board, in realizing my own emotions about Husband cannot be trusted and I do not act in my own best interest by acting on them. So I don't. But it's tough. :/
Title: Re: BPD Husband drops out of sight Post by: enlighten me on September 29, 2015, 11:22:54 PM My exgf left tons of stuff at mine. I don't think it was a sentimental thing. I think she was just too lazy to get it. She asked me to drop it at hers for her. I told her that it wasn't convenient and she need to get it herself. She ended up getting her landlord to collect it for her.
Not everything is about the BPD. Sometimes its just human nature or convenience. They may not have the space to store stuff. They may not be bothered about the items. Or it could bean excuse to come back and check on you. |