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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup => Topic started by: blackorchid on October 01, 2015, 04:22:33 PM



Title: Do they dysregulate for longer if they've been stable for longer?
Post by: blackorchid on October 01, 2015, 04:22:33 PM
My uBpd boyf has been quite stable for a while in his terms. Summer has been a bit rocky but he has been able to self soothe without major issues.  

3 weeks ago he flew into a rage. This time feels worse than before he's blocked and deleted me on Facebook and whatsapp and blocked my mobile. He hasn't done this before.

So does a longer calm period mean a longer rage dysregulated period or do you think this time he's not coming back?  He took everything from our apartment including our TV and laptop which we bought together.  

Loosing my mind


Title: Re: Do they dysregulate for longer if they've been stable for longer?
Post by: waverider on October 02, 2015, 02:12:15 AM
Hard to say, but I guess delusion that they are fine becomes entrenched and so when it swings the other way YOU have really ruined them being well in their mind.

Itis very difficult to predict what is going to happen long term in the mind of a pwBPD, as there is no such thing as a consistent plan


Title: Re: Do they dysregulate for longer if they've been stable for longer?
Post by: enlighten me on October 02, 2015, 02:57:28 AM
I have wondered this also.

I wonder if its like a pressure cooker that if released slowly will mean that you don't get the major bust ups or whether is simmers and then eventually goes bang.

For me it felt like a necessity for my ex to be able to vent. Ive read a lot about the calm after the storm as if the storm was a necessity to reach the calm again.


Title: Re: Do they dysregulate for longer if they've been stable for longer?
Post by: blackorchid on October 02, 2015, 05:52:36 AM
What's the longest you've experienced. Feel lost being blocked and deleted. As I said this hasn't happened before. Flew home to try and get some clarity in my mind.  I moved countries for him.