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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship => Topic started by: EmptyShell on October 03, 2015, 09:21:27 AM



Title: What does Split White and Split Black mean?
Post by: EmptyShell on October 03, 2015, 09:21:27 AM
Curious, never heard those expressions before.


Title: Re: What does Split White and Split Black mean?
Post by: Flameheart on October 03, 2015, 09:56:27 AM
Curious, never heard those expressions before.

Being split black essentially means he/she views you with much contempt (this being out of shame, anger, sadness, etc.). Being split white means he/she still views you in a positive fashion despite you both not being together, meaning there is a strong possibility there will be an attempt to recycle things (sometimes, but not always). Sometimes you can be split black and eventually after they've calmed down, you'll be split white. When you're split black, it's usually because something has happened (whether it be due to your own actions or theirs) that has triggered them to look at you differently, and being split white usually means that some of their old feelings regarding you may have returned (or there is some regret on their part).


Title: Re: What does Split White and Split Black mean?
Post by: once removed on October 03, 2015, 12:53:47 PM
hey emptyshell  

this should help:

BPD Behaviors: Splitting   (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=62033.0)

"splitting" is a defense mechanism that everyone does to varying extents. people with BPD have a tendency toward "black and white thinking" and struggle to see things and people in shades of grey.


Title: Re: What does Split White and Split Black mean?
Post by: SGraham on October 03, 2015, 01:17:11 PM
Split black means they associate you and anything about you with negativity. Split white is the reverse.


Title: Re: What does Split White and Split Black mean?
Post by: Mutt on October 03, 2015, 02:51:44 PM
Hi EmptyShell,

*welcome*

Cognitive distortions, dichotomous thinking or black and white thinking can be found in alcoholism, survivors of childhood trauma, depression, NPD / BPD. A sufferer of BPD will take it to the extreme.

It's viewing things unrealistically and can cause us to feel negative emotions, it's seeing things as either all bad or all good and not seeing the space in between, the grey area.

Do you recall experiences where you were put on a pedestal or devalued?


Title: Re: What does Split White and Split Black mean?
Post by: EmptyShell on October 04, 2015, 07:59:44 AM
Thanks everyone.  I read a book about BPD "Stop Walking on Eggshells" a few years ago and it talked about splitting.  I just forgot about it.  Thanks!