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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Conflicted About Continuing, Divorcing/Custody, Co-parenting => Topic started by: Lazerwolfe on October 04, 2015, 09:11:59 AM



Title: BPD Marriage/seperation
Post by: Lazerwolfe on October 04, 2015, 09:11:59 AM
I am in a marriage of 1 1/2 years. We have been seperated for 5 of those months. She has been diagnosed with BPD since then. Our therapist says she needs the space to work on herself, yet she insists I move back in. Who should I follow?


Title: Re: BPD Marriage/seperation
Post by: enlighten me on October 04, 2015, 10:11:40 AM
Hi Lazerwolf

Welcome to the family.

Im sorry you are going through this.

Its difficult to say as both have benefits and both have pitfalls. What is your gut feeling on this?

It may be worthwhile posting on the staying board or the undecided. The leaving board is more for those where the relationship is over and they have either separated or in the process.

EM


Title: Re: BPD Marriage/seperation
Post by: Mutt on October 04, 2015, 03:36:54 PM
Hi Lazerwolfe,

*welcome*

I'm sorry to hear that. Separation's tough.

Do you trust your T's advice?

She wants you to move back in, has she mentioned CBT, schema therapy, group therapy?

It helps to talk.


Hang in there,


----Mutt


Title: Re: BPD Marriage/seperation
Post by: Lazerwolfe on October 08, 2015, 07:25:03 PM
Thanks for the encouragement and advice. I struggle but I know others do too. I will continue using this site and hopefully I will be able to narrow down a decision.



Title: Re: BPD Marriage/seperation
Post by: OnceConfused on October 09, 2015, 08:59:45 PM
With you being the trigger of her BPD, she will be hard pressed to change. It is like trying to lose weight but you live with a cook who makes cakes and steaks every night.


Title: Re: BPD Marriage/seperation
Post by: unicorn2014 on October 09, 2015, 11:13:26 PM
Hi Lazer and welcome to the family!   Do you trust your therapist? Do you think your  therapist is qualified to treat a person with BPD? If yes, then I think it would be wise to follow your therapist's advice. A person with BPD will push and push to get what they want, but that might not be in the best interests of everyone involved. What do your instincts tell you?