BPDFamily.com

If you've read my last 3 or 4 threads, you know that uBPD Mom had a knee replacement surgery last week and I'm here assisting nBPD Dad in caring for her and dealing with her.

Twice while here I have dreamed that she died.  In one dream, Dad and I were very casual about it, and said "Oh, she's dead now", and we proceeded to visit a fair which turned into an air show.  (I love fairs and I love air shows.)  Dad and figured we'd go to the event and then we'd deal with her death after that was over.  Now we could do what we wanted with out being raged at.

I woke up disappointed that it wasn't real.

I don't remember as much about the second dream except for once again waking up disappointed.

I know it's a feeling and nothing to feel guilty about.   I was wondering if anyone experienced something similar?

Yes, but not about your BPDm, that would be weird. My dreams have been mainly about my BPDm not acting in a BPD way. As if she’s been cured. There's a tranquility - an absence or rage.

So do you think your dream is about how losing your BPDm might bring you closer to your Dad ?

Yup, I have had those kinds of dreams about being free from my BPD mom. I think at the core of it, it's just me wanting to be free to experience joy without it being tainted by her rage or disapproval.

I actually think it's healthy that your mind is expressing a desire to be free and happy without consequence.

I often wonder what my mom would have been like if she didn't have BPD.

Thanks for sharing your dream, todayistheday.  I don't doubt that it has great information for you.  Gayle Delayney has an AWESOME method/interview for figuring out your dreams.  She shares it in this radio interview:  www.shrinkrapradio.com/103-the-dream-interview-method/

I love her method and find it amazing effective and accurate.  Let us know if you use it and what you uncover. 

:)

It is probably because of her recent surgery.  It was a knee replacement.  Low risk, but theres always a bleeding or anesthesia risk.  Which with her negative thinking she has raised us to fear.

In her rages over the last couple months, one of the things she had been saying was that she hoped she'd die on the operating table.  Very typical statements from her.  The dream took place after her surgery, before she was released from the hospital.  I think in the dream, we went to pick her up and they told us she was gone.  So we left and went to the fair.

Same here.  She can be nice sometimes when not raging.  Even then, she has no sense of humor and is reclusive and a martyr.