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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship => Topic started by: toddinrochester on October 07, 2015, 06:02:36 AM



Title: Attending my first CoDA meeting tomorrow night
Post by: toddinrochester on October 07, 2015, 06:02:36 AM
I have realized through this experience that I am truly co-dependent. I feel that I own half of my BPD relationship. At least half. I never heard of coda until now and found only four meetings near me, one being tomorrow night. I understand it's a 12 step program, similar to others but I was hoping for some insight from you guys, friends, about what to expect. Thanks.    


Title: Re: Attending my first CoDA meeting tomorrow night
Post by: focus on October 07, 2015, 09:57:35 AM
I already PM'd you but if anyone else is wondering.

CoDA is similar to AA on it's structure. If you have been on AA or NA meetings CoDA should feel familiar.

For those thinking about attending a meeting and are not familiar with any other 12 step programs I suggest you give it a few tries, listen when people are talking and see if you can relate. No need to rush things.

I'm only at my third week but people who have been talking on these meetings all claim the program has helped them a lot and that they are at a much better place now.


Title: Re: Attending my first CoDA meeting tomorrow night
Post by: nolisan on October 07, 2015, 03:31:49 PM
I have been doing CoDA for about 3 years. May have saved my life. Codependency is just as dangerous as booze and drugs but far more subtle.

Try it out.

I recall asking my ex if she thought I/we were codependant. She replied "absolutely not". Why would she ... .I was rescuing her (paying her bills) lol.

Three years BPD free today! Feels really good.

Noles


Title: Re: Attending my first CoDA meeting tomorrow night
Post by: toddinrochester on October 07, 2015, 03:32:37 PM
Thank you Noles! I am looking forward to the meeting.


Title: Re: Attending my first CoDA meeting tomorrow night
Post by: eeks on October 07, 2015, 09:38:45 PM
Hi toddinrochester, welcome to the Personal Inventory board!   

I don't have any experience with 12 step groups, but I'm glad to hear that you are taking steps towards finding sources of in-person support while working on your own growth and healing.  Please feel free to tell us how it goes, and/or say more about what you are learning about yourself.

There's been a couple of threads about codependency recently that might be of interest to you:

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=283769.0;all

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=282977.0;all