BPDFamily.com

Greetings,

My NJ ex has filed for a move away. She's told the court and the custody evaluator that she will stay put if she loses the case. The costs can be upwards of $100K for this mess.

My question is, has anyone ever experienced this or know of any similar court decisions? In 99.9% of move aways, the person is actually moving. So this is a special case since LaMusca doesn't really apply. My lawyer is also scratching his head because he's never seen anything like it.

Please let me know if you have any tips or know any case history where the moving parent actually wasn't moving unless the court said it was ok.

This the LaMusga case, right?  I've seen both spellings, some with LaMusca, LawLink website uses LaMusga.  It is clear from the excerpts that the custody evaluator from the beginning and over the years saw the parenting obstruction and to some extent the alienation attempts by the mother.  Good.  However, the custody evaluator was also very reluctant to change primary parenting despite all the negatives about mother, always putting that 'nuclear' option off into the possible future.  Typical with even the better CEs but also wimping out.  As my CE's initial report stated up front, "Mother cannot share 'her' child but Father can."

A good position for the alienated/obstructed parent is to say, "I'm not saying the other parent can't move away, I'm just saying - and giving good reasons as are the professionals - that the children will remain so as to be accessible to my parenting.  I can obey the court and share the children with her, she hasn't reciprocated similarly in the past and won't reciprocate similarly in the future and especially if the children are distant."

As for your question, it seems she is asking for permission to move, which would seem to be the proper thing to do.  Should an attempt be made to change custody or the parenting schedule on a conditional request?  Hmm, if I recall correctly, my court has a form, Notice of Move that is to be provided in advance by a certain number of days, I think 60, but then it leaves any legal response to the other parent.  There's no way the court can handle all that in two months.  I guess legally the move is separate but also linked to subsequent legal action.  If she postpones action until resolved then

As for the LaMusga case she repeatedly filed to move away, CE concluded it was to obstruct the father's parenting, but I don't think a major switch was made based on the filing.  She still moved but to a state not as far away.  The the legal actions, appeal, etc, confuses me as to what the court's final decision was.  By then the kids were half grown.

In my state, it can take 9 months for the court to grant permission to move. My L counseled me to apply and have it granted before I had a job -- apparently here there are 10 or so criteria that the courts consider in order to grant permission, and only one of those criteria is about the job. It does have some weight if there is an employment offer, but if that is the only criteria met and none other, then it's not considered valid. It also seems to matter if the parent wishing to move can get employment nearby that is commensurate with their prior earnings, or better.

But it sounds like you are asking something slightly different -- are you wondering if she is doing this as a form of harassment?

Unfortunately, I found the courts are horrible about protecting parents from legal abuse. My ex even had a gatekeeping order against him (something only the judge can ask for and order), and still my ex managed to file frivolous law suits. It was one of the reasons I made the decision to terminate visitation because only that would put an end to the constant trips to court.

Don't give up hope that the court might see that her request is flimsy and dismiss her without the $100K trial. I had a really good lawyer but even so, my case presented some "first time I've ever seen this" and every time things seemed to bend in my favor. I do wonder if having elected judges makes a difference. If they feel their job depends on how well they handle back log and report good stats, perhaps they are less likely to let bad cases run the full course.