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Title: Hit bottom today-how do we educate family so they can help us? Post by: Rameses on October 12, 2015, 07:56:33 PM I hit rock bottom this morning, could not get out of bed. My family is coming to rescue me and have me stay with them for awhile.
As they try to help me I would love for them to have a general idea of what I am dealing with. Can anyone suggest a phamplet an article or some succinct reading that would help my family understand a little of what I'm dealing with as a Non. Title: Re: Hit bottom today-how do we educate family so they can help us? Post by: Michelle27 on October 12, 2015, 08:13:48 PM I read this article today and it explains the reasons a relationship with a pwBPD is so damaging and so difficult on a NON when it's over. Might not be what you're looking for but I found it valuable.
https://bpdfamily.com/pdfs/10_beliefs.pdf Title: Re: Hit bottom today-how do we educate family so they can help us? Post by: toddinrochester on October 12, 2015, 08:15:23 PM Hey, sorry to hear. Glad you are getting some help and hopefully being around family helps. I am on my phone but the landing page for this site has a ton of useful information. It's hard explaining this to people. If you never had it happen, you just don't get it.
Title: Re: Hit bottom today-how do we educate family so they can help us? Post by: Mutt on October 12, 2015, 08:22:07 PM Hi Rameses,
I'm sorry to hear that. I can see how frustrating that would feel. I can relate. I'm saying this from my personal experience, its not to say it's anybody else's experience either. I hope it helps. I often found myself explain two stories. I would explain mine. I would explain my exe's side and I would try to explain mental illness. It was emotionally exhausting, I can also see how people would think I'm the crazy one? BPD is triggered by intimacy, a person with BPD want emotional intimacy then the person feels engulfed. A lot of the behaviors are directed at loved ones, often behind closed doors. How often did your friends and family see her behaviors publicly? Let me put it to you another way, let's say you're going through divorce, I often find that the people that really get it are people that have gone through divorce. It can be difficult to empathize with someone if you haven't gone through the experience. I find talking about BPD, my experience with it in real life and sharing with members here helps me. Members get it, I find that it helps keep me grounded. Hang in there. Title: Re: Hit bottom today-how do we educate family so they can help us? Post by: cyclistIII on October 12, 2015, 09:55:15 PM Hang in there Rameses!
Michelle27 -- that article is what kept me coming back to this site; I'd read it every time I was starting to feel insane, and eventually I noticed, hey, wait, there's a message board on this site? Hmm... . Title: Re: Hit bottom today-how do we educate family so they can help us? Post by: hopealways on October 12, 2015, 11:20:21 PM Hi Rameses, I'm sorry to hear that. I can see how frustrating that would feel. I can relate. I'm saying this from my personal experience, its not to say it's anybody else's experience either. I hope it helps. I often found myself explain two stories. I would explain mine. I would explain my exe's side and I would try to explain mental illness. It was emotionally exhausting, I can also see how people would think I'm the crazy one? BPD is triggered by intimacy, a person with BPD wants emotional intimacy then the person feels engulfed. A lot of the behaviors are directed at loved ones, often behind closed doors. How often did your friends and family see her behaviors publicly? Let me put it to you another way, let's say you're going through divorce, I often find that the people that really get it are people that have gone through divorce. It can be difficult to empathize with someone if you haven't gone through the experience. I find talking about BPD, my experience with it in real life and sharing with members here helps me. Members get it, I find that it helps keep me grounded. Hang in there. IN BOLD: Absolutely right! And that's the part friends and family don't see. I have had to deal with the shellshock post BPD relationship all on my own as none of my friends except 1 don't understand and just tell me to "move on". It will be hard to have family learn enough about BPD to really understand. I tell them to watch Sharon Stone's character in Casino, or Scarlett in Gone with the Wind to get an idea of what I had to go through, that's way easier to relate to. |