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Title: Calling my exwBPD more human than BPD... Post by: toddinrochester on October 13, 2015, 08:38:36 AM So i was praying this morning and I started to pray for my exwBPD. The weird thing was that I asked for healing for her and this illness and I said "She is more human then BPD". My question is this. I seem to be getting better each day. Am I starting to turn this into a memory? I had a quiet BPD. My conversations with her in my head and out loud also have started to change. I tell her that she needs to get help and that this can be worked on and that I hope she does. But I no longer say "we can beat this". Looking for some input. This part of the detachment or am I going backwards? This whole thing has been such a whirlwind and nothing like this ever has happened to me so I am unable to correctly identify my recovery.
Title: Re: Calling my exwBPD more human than BPD... Post by: Mutt on October 13, 2015, 12:32:07 PM Hi toddinrochester,
I think that healing is not a linear path and the experience is different for everyone. I contemplated something similar, I believe my exe's authentic self is a good person, mental illness imprisons her. She gets triggered with stress and intimacy, but I recall moments where things were not always polarized. She's kind, caring and shows compassion. I would hope that she gets help someday, we have kids and they love their mother unconditionally, I would hope that she would do it for them. I find BPD is too complicated for me, I can't help her, my love is not above the disorder and I can't cure it. She has her path, I have my own path, our time is over. I wish her the best. I prayed for my uBPDex, I let go and let god. Title: Re: Calling my exwBPD more human than BPD... Post by: hopealways on October 13, 2015, 07:08:20 PM Hi toddinrochester, I think that healing is not a linear path and the experience is different for everyone. I contemplated something similar, I believe my exe's authentic self is a good person, mental illness imprisons her. She gets triggered with stress and intimacy, but I recall moments where things were not always polarized. She's kind, caring and shows compassion. I would hope that she gets help someday, we have kids and they love their mother unconditionally, I would hope that she would do it for them. I find BPD is too complicated for me, I can't help her, my love is not above the disorder and I can't cure it. She has her path, I have my own path, our time is over. I wish her the best. I prayed for my uBPDex, I let go and let god. IN BOLD: we all need to realize this. Nons think love can conquer all which leads to our frustrations with the BPD since love is never enough (actually, nothing is ever enough for the BPD). |