BPDFamily.com

I'm confused about something I just read about extremes openness and vulnerability of the pwBPD.  My husband was intense and listened to me and complimented me when we were first married.  However I would never in a million years call him open and vulnerable, quite the contrary.  I remember complaining that he was a not vulnerable with me and he never told me anything to show insecurities, lack of confidence or even about his life before me ,  etc.  it was a main problem in our marriage. He is a man of few words as well. I remember looking into investment ideas once and informing him. I was going on about the different strategies and at some point he yelled "STOP!"  I was shocked. Maybe I was preventing him from his world of fantasy or causing him anxiety ?

My first BPD ex was the same way.  Not particularly charming.  Zero personality, really.  Quiet, except when he was loud.  And when he was angry?  Oh god ... .That one did try to kill me, literally.  The most recent BPD ex, though?  He's a bit much for a lot of people in terms of how jovial he is.  People with BPD come in all varieties, just like those of us without BPD. 

Was he diagnosed with BPD? Is it possibile that he had, instead, NPD?

Yes, not all pwBPD have all of the symptoms... .when I first learned about BPD this summer, I was reading through all of this stuff and sometimes I'd go, "Oh, that was totally [my ex-husband]" and other times I'd go "Hey, [recent ex] said those exact words to me!" and sometimes it was both of them and sometimes it was neither. It's like there's a buffet of BPD behaviors and... .no, never mind, I'm tired and sick today and should really not attempt metaphors or similes ;-) You get the point.