BPDFamily.com

Hi guys,

My sister's 1st interview with the CE is next week.  She got a copy of the position statement that my xBPD - BIL's attorney sent to the CE.  She is finishing her statement and sending in tomorrow.

His attorney slung a ton of mud, the least of which said their S17 wants to live full time with his Father.

He called my sister "overly" controlling which is not in the best interest of the children and brought in our side of the family's history of mental illness (not current) and did not claim my sister as mentally ill and said she hasn't received her own treatment.  My sister has never been mentally ill (maybe situational depression from his abuse and craziness   and nothing is documented as such.

The letter also said she is "not complying with the temporary orders" for parenting time. The temp orders are stale and were made last year, not specifying holidays this year.  She is not approving overnights right now for her D11.  S17 has pressured her for 50/50 time and she is giving him only 2 optional overnights a week and 4 days / week of after school time per the temp agreement and until the evaluation is completed a new agreement can be worked out.  All said with the same theme that she is "controlling" and only allowing parenting time when she feels like it.

All not true. 

She was completely flexible until he went haywire this summer and gave up more than half his parenting time, told the kids to lie to her about their overnights at BPDx - BIL's  new girlfriend's parent's house where she was residing with her kids, had 3 emergency drop-offs of kids with less than 15 minutes notice, showed up at the house whenever he felt like it to collect the kids.  She also saw his medical records received by her lawyer showing he was barely in therapy and on and off his bipolar meds whenever it suited him after a suicide attempt last year.

Have you guys been through CE's where the BPDx's lawyer gets down in the mud with false accusations and also coaches the kids before they go in?

The good thing is - we have a ton of email and text documentation from him showing he blew off all his parenting time this summer and is a completely hostile, obstructionist co-parent.

Remember, an attorney can only relate what was told to them. If you have proof to counter the false allegations bring a copy with you for the CE. This should help a lot. My ex made false claims in a custody eval. I gave proof it was not true. Ex insisted I was wrong and even the evaluator was wrong ? I just sat there and let my ex win for me.

During equitable distribution my ex claimed that I stole 1.2 million in assets. She had hand written things (four pages worth) and the valuation of each item. Fortunately, I had photos from facebook with many of the possessions in her new apartment. During the conference her atty insisted I stole it all. My atty showed a few photos and her atty went out of the room with her client. Things were settled shortly after that. I actually agreed with her valuations and simply asked for my half in cash. Her valuation was 1.999 million off.

I remain calm during these wonderful moments and watch ex get more and more agitated. She usually contains her rages in front of others but has slipped up there too.

Also, I never volunteer information until it has to be used. This takes away any changes from opposing counsel to protect their clients from lies.

I had a plan on what I thought was best for our two boys. Ex had no solid plan and was all over the place arguing against my ideas. The evaluator challenged my plan and I had reasons to back my ideas up. It was all focused on our boys. I never attacked ex during any of the meetings and let her attack me all she wanted. I did say what she was saying was untrue or it made no sense. I offered proof on the things I could disprove but others I simply said were not true and that I had no evidence.

The evaluator suggested I have more time with our boys and even went with the schedule I proposed. It did not follow the standard court order in our county but I had my reasons which I gave him.

There were some things I did not bring up because my atty was using them in court since he already discussed some of the things with me. We settled before the judge started court and it was exactly what I requested.

I have emotionally detached very well from my ex and she doesn't rattle me like she used to. That made a big difference. She still gets triggered by me about almost anything I say or do.