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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship => Topic started by: Sunfl0wer on October 17, 2015, 09:53:36 AM



Title: Positive self talk examples please
Post by: Sunfl0wer on October 17, 2015, 09:53:36 AM
Hey guys,

I appreciate the support yesterday as I reopened a wound I didn't know existed.  Thanks greatly, sharing here is really helping me heal!

So where I am at now:

I am not under a thunderstorm cloud pouring on me, however, there is a light cloud above me.  It is shading my thoughts with a mild low level grieving.  I am having more thoughts of the r/s than before.  More like background elevator music than a thmping rock concert.  Whereas before it was more like the awareness of random crickets in the night, when you are busy with something else.

I am not trying to stop or control the feelings.  However, I do want to notice my thoughts of loss and match some of it with more positive self talk, so as not to marinate in the feelings of loss, thus amplifying them.

Any suggestions?

What works for you guys?

Thank you again! This is a hard moment.  

I am pleased because yesterday I initially thought I was headed for a stormy rainy internal emotional weather for the week.  I am pleased that it eased, and feel this is great progress.  I feel that the next step for me is maybe to lead my thoughts more vs allowing the emotions to set up a campsite... .and dictate some things they shouldn't.


Title: Re: Positive self talk examples please
Post by: OnceConfused on October 17, 2015, 10:28:13 AM
Try to find new activities for your week. take a class in something that sounds like fun like dancing, reading, cooking ... .

Occupy your free time with things of great learning values and also places to meet new people.

The only way to get rid of the old stale water in a cup is to keep pouring in fresh water.


Title: Re: Positive self talk examples please
Post by: cyclistIII on October 18, 2015, 05:24:28 PM
Words I have said to myself:

"You got this."

"Give it time."

"I lost, but at least I lost spectacularly." [or sometimes I used "failed" instead of "lost"]

"Accept and release" (that one particularly acknowledging that I can't force out emotions, so I accept them, but I give them permission to leave -- that strategy pre-dates the BPD ex)

":)eep breaths."

"Some day, this will all be a long time ago."

"Love yourself, and you will be okay."

Okay, now I'm feeling kind of embarrassed to admit that I say these things to myself, but on the other hand, I totally do, and it helps a LOT.

I also find song anthems that I listen to over and over or sing to myself on my worst days -- Be Okay by Ingrid Michaelson has been one of my favorites. Or "Better" by K'Naan, though the verses don't relate to my my life in any way, but it's still a great chorus.