BPDFamily.com

I intend this as a message of hope for those in the various stages of recovery.  Exactly four years ago, I was an emotional disaster from a 3 month BPD relationship.  My doctor had me on Klonipin to keep my anxiety under control.  Time crept by so slowly it was almost like being a child again.  Thoughts of her and the abandonment consumed me.  Time passed I thought of her less.  The folks on this board who allowed me to express myself deserve medals to a person.

Four years later she is an insignificant chapter of my life. It took nearly two years for her to stop contacting me.  Not once did she successfully reengage me.

I am now enjoying the blessings of having experienced a BPD relationship.  My boundaries are strong.  I recognize dysfunctional people by simple instinct and know how to handle them.

As painful as the experience was for me, the wisdom I gained has made it  worthwhile.  I am much stronger and better for the experience.  I would not have believed a word I just wrote four years ago, yet here I am writing it.  Thank to everyone who helped me.

For those just undergoing recovery from these highly dysfunctional people, never give up hope.  Each day will bring you closer to a new and improved you.  You will eventually look back on this horrible experience as a privilege granted to you to grow and not as the very painful experience it now is. 

Thank you so much for Sharing this HostNoMore.

Your words affirm my own suspicions and sentiments as of late. I am currently about 3 months post BU, and am bothered that i will likely be grieving far longer than the relationship even lasted (3 months).

However, earlier today, I was reflecting on the future. I thought about how years from now, or however long, Ill be able to look back on this ordeal from a completely different frame of reference. I'll look back on it as a turning point in my life. I'll look back on it and reflect, "If it were not the lessons I learned from that relationship, I wouldn't be the man I am today."

Your words bring me courage, they enliven me, and inspire my fighting spirit.

Just earlier today, at the gym, I was telling myself, ":)on't you get it? I will never give up!" Nothing is going to stop me from getting beyond this fiasco.

I look forward to the future, and am convinced that the benefits of this relationship - the self-knowledge I have gained, this conviction that THIS IS WHO I AM! take it or leave it, this ability to unapologetically be me - I know that these lessons will be foundational to my future.

sincere thanks.

That's what I like to hear! :) You're very welcome.

A few weeks ago I had to drop a friend off near where she lives.  The only thing I could think about was how anyone would consciously pay good money to live in the most aesthetically undesirable part of my area to live. This place is a wasteland and an uncontrolled mix of beaten down trailers and houses both new and old. I could have never driven there prior without being triggered. 

It takes a while, but the results are truly worth it. 

I recently had another PD person try to infect my life.  He is not BPD, but he threatened to burn my house down if I did not give him what he wanted which was to squat in my home for free. I used the BPD handling techniques I learned here on him, and they worked like a charm.  I'm in the process of establishing no contact and ejecting him from my life.  The skills I learned from my BPD experience really came in handy with him. 

This is interesting! Can you tell us more about this? :D

Anyway, about your ex, did you reach the stage of indifference? I hope you don't hate her, she has a disorder... .

I really appreciate people who are so many years of NC with their BPDx posting on this board, it really helps and motivates us to know that there is a better life out there if we just maintain NC.  You have obviously moved on but to take the time out to write to us is great of you. Thanks.