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Children, Parents, or Relatives with BPD => Parent, Sibling, or In-law Suffering from BPD => Topic started by: Deb on October 25, 2015, 11:46:50 AM



Title: With the holidays coming up...
Post by: Deb on October 25, 2015, 11:46:50 AM
I thought people might like to have a topic on things to do if you are NC from your PD relatives. Please feel free to  contribute. :)

When I was in my early 20's, my dBPD sister (undiagnosed at the time) was giving me the silent treatment once again. In order that my mom not be put in the middle, I made arrangements to see her on different days so my mom could see her grandchildren. So here are some of the things I did so as not to be alone:

- I ate at a soup kitchen at a church one Thanksgiving. It was a lovely meal, cooked and served by the youth of the church. There was no preaching, just fellowship. I met knew people.

-I arranged with friends to do a serial get together. We started at one house for snacks, went to another for a light meal, went to a thrid for the full works (and helped clean up) and ended at a fourth for dessert.

-I went for a hike in the mountains with friends.

Now my uncle, who lives a few hours from his closest children, volounteered at a soup kitchen. He said it was wonderful to be helping those in need, wonderful to share in fellowship with others and the food was good too. His wife got him started doing that.


My friend, who is un AA, eats Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners at an AA meeting. Members are encourage to bring things, the group supplies the turkey (cooked by a volounteer) and families are welcome.


So, any other thoughts or ideas?


Title: Re: With the holidays coming up...
Post by: Eyeamme on October 25, 2015, 11:51:01 AM
I always have Thanksgiving and invite others that have no where to go.



Title: Re: With the holidays coming up...
Post by: Confused#2 on October 25, 2015, 01:36:14 PM
I have mostly (99%) have Thanksgiving alone watching TV since they are usually showing Christmas shows then. I get precooked meals (from a place likeWholeFoods) and make sure i get just what I want. I call my sibs (the ones who are talking to me) and says happyThanksgiving making sure I do not call when they may be cooking or at dinner. I come to enjoy this since I do not have to cook (other then heating things up),do not have to worry about the weather, etc. I live 12 hours away from my FOO. I found that be included in other people's family dinners (although a nice gesture) is more lonely than be alone. 


Title: Re: With the holidays coming up...
Post by: pookielocks on October 26, 2015, 12:31:24 PM
good topic. i was thinking about this. my aunt usually hosts but i think she's done with my uBPDm as much as i am. she didn't host last year and i don't think she will this year. i've been nervous about how this is going to go. mom is going to have hurt feelings - as always.