BPDFamily.com

 After reading someone else's post of a recovered memory I got to thinking. Is is normal for a BPD parent to put their children in dangerous situtions?  I remember my mother using us kids as a shield. One example is one summer when someone was maybe watching our house in the country. A car would park at the end of our long driveway and sit for hours. My mother started sending us kids to the mailbox (around where the car was parked) when the car was down there to see if we could see who it was. Usually the car would move when we got too close. By the experience scared me to death--walking down there slowly knowing she was scared of what was down there.  Also she tried to can green beans and pressure was building in the jars (they were contaminated). She thought the jars were going to blow up so she had us kids pick them up and carry them outside. Needless to say we kids were scared and SHE did not carry any out.  Would this be normal for a BPD parent.?  Am I just being too sensitive? I also had recurring dreams that she was going to kill us kids. Is this common for children of BPD parents? That you thought you would be killed. She never threatened to kill us. I not sure the other kids felt this way. Just asking.

Hi Confused#2

I am sorry your mother placed you in harms way. I don't feel like you are being too sensitive at all here. No matter how you look at it, I would definitely say it was wrong of her to send you kids out to go check and see who was driving that mysterious car. That's a horrible and frightening experience for a child.

Also the fact that she made you open up the cans she herself was scared to open is something I find concerning. It's almost like she was unable to deal with the negative emotions so instead made you children deal with them instead so she wouldn't have to. And not only made you deal with the negative emotions, but also put you at risk of dealing with the potentially negative consequences.

Recurring dreams is actually something several of us have had (including the board parrot  ). Another member (pookielooks) just posted about it here:

Anyone else have childhood recurring nightmares related to their parent's BPD? (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=285017.0)

The way I now look at dreams like this is that they conveyed the message that we might not have been able to accept in our waking lives because who really wants to accept that our own parent is the source of danger. As a child you depend so much on your parent so we often try as hard as we can to maintain a positive view of them. Also as a child it can be very hard to make sense of a BPD parents behavior as we are still developing our own mind and identity. However on a subconscious level, you as a child were probably still very well aware of the fact that there was something wrong with they way your mother treated you. Although she never threatened to kill you, she did put you kids at huge risk by sending you guys outside while that car was there.