BPDFamily.com

 So the other day when my wife was raging, I decided to leave until she calm down. About halfway through my departure, I started getting a couple of texts from her while I was reading the "stop walking on eggshells "book. While I was reading it, on page 11, I saw a great line from somebody who was married to a person with BPD. He said "still, every once in a while the "Old "her comes back, the one who loved me and thought I was the greatest guy in the universe. She is still the smartest, funniest, and sexiest woman I know, and I'm still very much in love". I said oh wow that's a great line. I decided to use it on my wife because of how applicable it was.

She said "I deserve surprises like my shoes u would never think to go get them hot my size down when I was at store and one day get them u don't think like Eric decker, who is an amazing husband"

So I said... ."I think like that Babe. I do. You are an incredible person. Unbelievably loving, caring compassionate. The sexiest dam women on this earth. You are the smartest, funniest and sexiest person I know. I love you very much marielle. I will not leave you.

I get her response "U don't know anyone so that doesn't mean anything ha that's why I want a divorce "


Classic.

 :)

Oh dear. So disordered. And who the heck is Eric Decker and what relevance does that have to YOUR relationship?

Fairy Land.

He is some football player who is married to some lady that my wife likes to follow. She idolizes everything that she doesn't have, and if she does have it she doesn't know it... .

Just need to laugh sometimes

What's funny is that she's basing what a "good husband" is off some woman she's following online, and I'm sure that woman is only putting the "good" stuff out there! I'm sure you'd look like the best husband on earth if your wife only remembered or blogged about the good stuff.

People with BPD seem to remember most the things that hurt them, or things they can use against us. It's so sad. I mean, I TRY to remember the good things BPDh does too, or I'd go nuts. If all I focused on was the bad, I'd have run a long time ago.

It is funny how their perspective just seems to have such a negative slant. They want to feel loved and happy, but they make choices, or take the viewpoint that just makes it so hard for them to achieve that. I guess we can just keep loving them, and trying not to take it so personally.

BPD thinking:

The grass is greener on the other side of the fence.

And it never needs mowed.

Never gets weeds.

Smells better.

Softer to walk on.

Tastes like chocolate.

Will make me feel loved.

This is neediness. The need is not for the grass it is a need for wanting something. Give them the grass, and they are not happy, "need" will cause them to want something else.

Need is a craving for a quick material fix supplied by something, or someone else. It is avoiding taking responsibility for supplying their own answers or happiness. "The magic pill". There is no magic pill but the craving is always there

Cole. The BPD whisperer.  :)