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Title: New to site Post by: Blkbrd on October 31, 2015, 12:23:09 PM Suggested an introduction so here it is.
Hi, im an adult product of a BPD mother. She was undiagnosed and in true BPD form, got a psychology degree and diagnosed herself about two years ago. In all honesty, the diagnosis fits her like a glove and gave me something to stand on. Unfortunately, after a full bottle of wine that constant gnawing in me of not being able to discuss and work beyond the abuse and horrid behaviors from her in my childhood got the better of me and I told her off. For the first time in my life (im over 40) I lost it on her. Ive always been great at taking her abuse Like a champ. Im a mixture of relief and regret, depending on the day. Of course, she cut all ties and honestly I kinda feel free now. Not sure where to go from here. Ive been healing at a much faster rate though and fear a reconnection. Anyway, thats the rundown of why im here. Wish there was spell check im certain my paragraph is rittled with mistakes, good luck! And thanks for having something for people like us... .I think. Title: Re: New to site Post by: Turkish on October 31, 2015, 07:08:22 PM Hello Blkbrd,
If you kept it bottled up for so long that you let it out at once, then it is what it is. That she might try to reconnect is possible, and it seems like you are feeling anxious about this possibility. Who do you have in your life to lean on, Blkbrd? Sometimes sharing the truth with a trusted person can lift an enormous burden from our souls. The distance sounds good for now, but what else are you doing to take care of yourself? We have a Survivor's Guide to the right of this board. If you take a look at it, where do you think you are, at what stage? What memories bother you the most about being the child of a BPD parent? I hope to hear more and how best we can support you. *welcome* Turkish |