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Did anyone else do this?

During the happy part of our relationship, my stbxBPDh and I thought it would be so romantic to get matching tattoos.  It was the first tattoo for both of us. We didn't get anything like names or dates but they are identical.

If you did it too, how do you feel about the permanent reminder now?

Have thought about and I will have the tattoos. Don't feel bad about it. It's a reminder of a special troubled individual,  but a part of your history, strenght, love and future growth. Every choice we have ever made concerning our Borderline loved one should function as a lesson for the path in front of us. I would see it as a good thing...

I was the opposite. I got one after I detached from her. Not just because of her, but it fits the situation as well. I waited about 4 months before I decided to get it and it just happened to coincide with the same week I fully detached. It says:

Sperate, miseri; cavete, felices.

The short translation is:  Unhappy hope, Happy fear.

The long  translation is: Let the wretched live in hope and the happy be on their guard.

Hi autumnskies,

We didn't get matching tattoos but my BPDxbf had a lot of tattoos and I wanted to get one because I felt that I belonged to him and I wanted to communicate that in some way. I was quite surprised to find myself feeling like that. I think I'm probably pleased that I didn't, on balance. I did, however, find that the way I dressed became more like the way he dressed as our relationship became closer.

It's 10 weeks out this week and I'm missing him a little today. That it's only 'a little' is big progress.

Love Lifewriter

So sorry for the late response.  I have been crazy busy.  Thank you for your responses Lifewriter, toddinrochester and Hannibal Heyes.

I feel lucky that the style of the tattoo is something I wanted for years anyways, even though it does have strong memories now.  I don't hate my ex so I do try to look at it and focus on the positive aspects and the lessons learned.

I like your idea toddinrochester, what a powerful meaning... .I am thinking of adding something to mine.

My wife and I had been dating a few months, and of course, everything was very intense.  She told me that she wanted me to get a tattoo with her name on it. 

I laughed and told her she was crazy.  "The second I get a tattoo with your name on it, you will dump me."  I told her.

It's funny looking back and seeing how in control of myself I was then.

workinprogress - Did you get the tattoo?

I didn't get a matching tattoo... .but i did get one on my foot (ironically in arizona where he is now posting pics of the same things and places on instagram as we speak). I got one that reminded me of both him and my daughter... .the two people who made my universe go round at the time.

Fortunately no names. haha. i don't care for the tattoo now, but maybe I can turn it into a reminder of where I have been and how I want to carve my new path.

He had a tattoo that I wanted... .and now would feel too attached to get. He had a beautiful phoenix on his side... .the fire bird. symbolizes rebirth and new beginnings.  If it wouldn't remind me of him every time i look at it, I would get one too.

I suppose I need a new symbol for rebirth.

Cloudten, no, I did not get the tatoo.  I'm sure it is hard for you to have the reminder on your foot.  I wish these people wouldn't put us through everything that they put us through.

Anyway, I was thinking today, they always seem to do something to draw you in for life.  With my wife, it would have been the tattoo.  She really lured me in with the sex.  It was so stupid of me to fall for it.

Hey w-i-p, Let's face it: those w/BPD do a lot of luring: Could be a tattoo; could be sex; could be alcohol; could be drama; could be their troubled past; could be anything that will get the Non hooked in some fashion.  They are pretty calculating about it, in my view, even though they are operating largely on child-like emotions.

LuckyJim

We talked about the tattoo thing at least once a month. My ex kept asking me if she should get my name tattooed on her. I told her no that's not a good idea. She also asked if I would get her name. Once again I said no. She had a lot of tattoos. When we met she had two. By the end of our relationship of 1.5 years she had at least 9. I'm glad I didn't do the tattoo thing. I kind of wish she got the tattoo of my name tho. That would have been funny in hindsight.

I have gone so far as to have his portrait tattooed on my leg with a Forever friends text in a banner of roses. He has been a big part of my life, he taught me a lot about myself. It's a good feeling; no regrets

Got matching ones on our wrists so that they look the same when we held hands as they did on their own. It's a painful reminder of better days

My wife and I share a matching Phi on our ring fingers..

We are still married, but separated for three months now..

The symbol means so much, imbued with the notion all will be one..

The gulf of time and space weighs heavily though..

I pray for re-union..