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Long story short... We got back together for the millionth time, my lease was ending so she suggested moving into her apartment so we could both save some money.

She wanted to share a debit card together which I found out by snooping that it was going to be used for a trip just for her instead of a trip for us. Another strike against her being unselfish.

After I had spent lots of time and effort moving in, I found out a month or so later that she hated her job and wanted to move back to home, closer to her relatives and family (approximately 2 hours later). I asked why she wanted me to elope, have kids, etc. and she said that she did not realize how stressful living with me would be as an excuse.

Fast forward to September when we broke up but had to live together because her place is so close to where I work and do events so it was awkward. Often she was quiet and angry if I spoke to her. She said some really mean things, like her original plan was to get a new job, cut all contact and change her number. I asked her why she was telling me this and don't remember her answer. She blames me for wanting to move, her now ex-job (high stress medical clinic) and her missing her family. We were together for 6 years, technically 5 if you don't count us living together at the end.

Fast forward to October... .A few days before leaving, she splurged almost $100 on food and pool with me two nights ago and then had sex a month after we broke up later that night. She is moving 2 hours away on Friday and has changed her number and blocked me on Facebook. She has said in the past that she misses our friendship but doesn't like me enough to marry me. Before she left she blocked me on Facebook and changed her phone number.

Does she still have feelings? She told me she had sex to see if she had anymore feelings for me left. She claims she doesn't and that will be the last sex we will ever have together.

She seems to have some Borderline traits as well. Will I hear from her again? She told my dad not to look for her where she moved and that we both need to move on in life.

Wow - that is confusing... .no wonder you are confused.  First of all, she sounds like a hot mess and doesn't know what she wants. She sounds like she is all drama.

She may or may not have feelings... .but ask yourself if it matters. Would you want to be with someone so volatile and unpredictable?

You may or may not hear from her again. I don't know if anyone can answer that question.

Why do you find yourself attracted to her? 

What are you doing to take care of yourself?

She is fairly high maintenance.

I found her POF account yesterday and (stupidly) messaged her from mine. She read my message, looked at my profile and did not respond. She has revised history saying that she only stayed with me because she thought I would change. She would occasionally act suspiciously and I would check her Facebook and see that a "friend" would be messaging her and she would behave warmly to his suggestions. So apparently that needs to change and i need to trust her... She claims she only vcheated on me years ago because she was being accused of cheating with a friend at his place (?).  Her account was seeking Friends yet now says she wants 'Not seeking a relationship or any kind of commitment' (ie. casual sex/friends with benefits is what she is aiming for.

She just moved back home from the solid job here to a call centre (high stress). I haven't seen her since the 23rd of last month and moved the last of my stuff out on the 1st of November. We had our 'wild' night on the 18th of last month. She blocked me on both of her Facebook accounts.

I guess I feel that because I am a very calm person, I find an attraction to someone who is totally different. She said before she left that she was 'using me' and hated putting out for sex (she would not look into my eyes and we usually had sex in the dark) and that I was ugly! She even commented that we had nothing in common yet we had a great night playing pool together, drinking, and have watched lots of TV and spent years together. I suspect she is also borderline has she has revealed some symptoms of it.

She claims i will never hear from her but I would assume otherwise from past experience. She now lives 2~ hours away so it is highly possible that she will never contact me again.

I am finishing up my diploma and moving out. It sucks because i moved out of my old place with her so we could both save money and then she moves away. My family is moving in 4-6 months out of this house and the original plan was to move with my ex-gf down at the same time, which is obviously extremely unlikely to happen.

I really liked her happy-go-lucky nature at the beginning... She is rarely like that now... but she has tremendous debts and seems to choose very poorly thought-out ideas instead of intelligent ones. (ie. staying here and earning enough money to pay off her debts rather than going back home and being poor and have climbing debts and cannot afford to pay for food).

Thank you for the response. Anyone else have any thoughts?

Yes, run like hell. Run for your own sake, and your own emotional health. Go start doing things for yourself, take that trip you were planning or a different one on your own or with friends. Get out and do those things which make you happy and help you grow as a person. Make intelligent life choices based on your plan for where you wish to wind up in this world. Meet women along the way, find one you can share things with, date, see if it goes somewhere. Accept that this woman may have done you a favor and move on.

roses wrote---

she has tremendous debts and seems to choose very poorly thought-out ideas instead of intelligent ones. (ie. staying here and earning enough money to pay off her debts rather than going back home and being poor and have climbing debts and cannot afford to pay for food).

-----Sad situation. Why is she such a poor money manageer? Is it related to BPD?

I believe it is a combination of upbringing, genetics and the BP2 condition. I did not find out until our 3rd year together that she was diagnosed as being BP2 by the doctor. They wanted to re-assess her and she wanted to be receiving benefits for her medication/condition. She raged and would not allow them to re-assess her because she hated their doubt (flawed human nature in reality) and therefore they were no longer considered 'perfect' (I assume!) and were thus painted black.

Her dad has apparently declared bankruptcy and mother is very cold. Her father is a truck driver and apparently was not there when she was growing up, they had to share son/daughter's clothes, mother was violent (presumed).

Even now, she is likely close to penniless and any money that does not go to rent will likely be from her cash-strapped parents. My father and friends suspect she will reach out to me once the reality of the situation sinks in but I have my doubts.

She seems to follow a 3-month on and off pattern AFAIK...

It is weird and if anyone could explain this then please so:

She said she was leaving 50% due to me, 25% due to her stressful job, 25% to hating living here away from friends+family.

She told me weeks in advance that her plan was to leave the relationship, cut all ties, move away and never contact me again. I asked her why the heck she would tell me and what made her tell me and I don't think she ever gave me a straight and coherent answer... .The last time we had a major split, she claimed she would never speak to me or see me ever again.

This makes me think she will one day start talking to me again and paint me white. No one else has dated her (or survived it) as long as I have. What do you guys think?

Just like last time, she is seeking Friends on an online dating site (POF) but is also "Not seeking a relationship or any kind of commitment." She seems to be online every day after her new job (presumably) trying to find someone else... Someone, who in her words, "she wouldn't feel like she was settling for". Will she come back soon if she cannot find someone else?

Roses----

   Yes the money mess might be due to BPD,

also wrote

She told me weeks in advance that her plan was to leave the relationship, cut all ties, move away and never contact me again. I asked her why the heck she would tell me and what made her tell me and I don't think she ever gave me a straight and coherent answer... .The last time we had a major split, she claimed she would never speak to me or see me ever again.

-----so it's a pattern typical of BPD to escape and return. She said she'd never contact you but still reunited. So it's possible this will happen this time again.  Did she not worry last time and this time that you might find someone else while she is gone?

I dont think she was worrying but she has serious money issues. She mentioned that she wanted to move down with me for financial reasons. I am sure that she is barely getting by right now although one never knows.

She knows that I have a rosy future ahead and she is stuck in a dead end call centre job. She claims she does not want a relationship online so that hurts her chances of recovering financially.  she has been trying to pay off $1000's of dollars for years unsuccessfully so I doubt this move helped that at all.

Read somewhere that normal people reach out 3-4 weeks after breaking up... Think she is on POF right now on a sat night so obviously she hasnt found someone...