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Title: Nightmares/Sexual Pining Post by: Kelli Cornett on November 11, 2015, 09:44:09 PM Every once in a while, I get these horrible nightmares about my ex cheating on me with another woman. It's 5 months out and when I get them I wake up with the worst stomach ache and sadness.
In the dreams he's in love with the woman and telling me and leaves. Oddly enough when we were together I use to dream he was sleeping next to me, wake up in a panic and see him not there and start crying only to realize he was never over that night but in my dreams everything was so real. He abandon many times through out the relationship. Leaving me in parking lots, left the house in the middle of a fight, left me dateless at a wedding he said he would attended, and than of course broke up with me. Than top all that pain off I still sexual want him somedays. I just want to forget about him because it gets in the way of me moving on sexual or physically with another person. Just want to forget... . Title: Re: Nightmares/Sexual Pining Post by: Schermarhorn on November 11, 2015, 09:48:48 PM Every once in a while, I get these horrible nightmares about my ex cheating on me with another woman. It's 5 months out and when I get them I wake up with the worst stomach ache and sadness. In the dreams he's in love with the woman and telling me and leaves. Oddly enough when we were together I use to dream he was sleeping next to me, wake up in a panic and see him not there and start crying only to realize he was never over that night but in my dreams everything was so real. He abandon many times through out the relationship. Leaving me in parking lots, left the house in the middle of a fight, left me dateless at a wedding he said he would attended, and than of course broke up with me. Than top all that pain off I still sexual want him somedays. I just want to forget about him because it gets in the way of me moving on sexual or physically with another person. Just want to forget... . When I was with my ex I had very vivid dreams of me walking on her cheating. Its like my subconscious was telling me to get out. Since then I haven't had any dreams of that nature, but dreams of being with her. By the morning it makes the breakup feel fresh again. Title: Re: Nightmares/Sexual Pining Post by: cloudten on November 11, 2015, 09:55:23 PM Every once in a while, I get these horrible nightmares about my ex cheating on me with another woman. It's 5 months out and when I get them I wake up with the worst stomach ache and sadness. In the dreams he's in love with the woman and telling me and leaves. Oddly enough when we were together I use to dream he was sleeping next to me, wake up in a panic and see him not there and start crying only to realize he was never over that night but in my dreams everything was so real. He abandon many times through out the relationship. Leaving me in parking lots, left the house in the middle of a fight, left me dateless at a wedding he said he would attended, and than of course broke up with me. Than top all that pain off I still sexual want him somedays. I just want to forget about him because it gets in the way of me moving on sexual or physically with another person. Just want to forget... . When I was with my ex I had very vivid dreams of me walking on her cheating. Its like my subconscious was telling me to get out. Since then I haven't had any dreams of that nature, but dreams of being with her. By the morning it makes the breakup feel fresh again. OH yes... .ditto... .to all of the above. You aren't alone. I have been and am in your shoes. I know it feels so hurtful and overwhelming at times. It sounds like you are quite hurt. I too have had and do have dreams about my dBPDx. Once when we were broken up, I had a very vivid dream that we had gotten back together but he had knocked up another girl. I actually think it is completely plausible. What I always thought was strange, is that even when we were together, I would have dreams about him cheating- and somehow my subconscious was always correct. I would find out days later that he was cheating. Mine also abandoned me a few times. Once on a park bench, once on the street in the middle of philadelphia, once at a wedding... .on and on. It was rude. What are you doing to take care of yourself? Are you seeing a therapist? maybe a grief counselor or a co-dependency group? Sounds like you should write out a long list of the pros and cons of your relationship... .and the pros and cons of HIM and his personality. I think if you start evaluating the relationship, you might see a little better what the reality was. You already began this in your post, in a way. Then make another list- a list of exactly what you want in a partner and in a relationship. Evaluating what the reality of your relationship was may actually help you. Title: Re: Nightmares/Sexual Pining Post by: C.Stein on November 11, 2015, 10:06:00 PM When I was with my ex I had very vivid dreams of me walking on her cheating. Its like my subconscious was telling me to get out. Me as well. In hind site I wonder if it was subconscious telling me to get out, or subconscious telling me something I didn't consciously pick up on, or just the paranoia and fear I felt because I had trust issues with her. Title: Re: Nightmares/Sexual Pining Post by: Kelli Cornett on November 12, 2015, 01:48:31 AM Every once in a while, I get these horrible nightmares about my ex cheating on me with another woman. It's 5 months out and when I get them I wake up with the worst stomach ache and sadness. In the dreams he's in love with the woman and telling me and leaves. Oddly enough when we were together I use to dream he was sleeping next to me, wake up in a panic and see him not there and start crying only to realize he was never over that night but in my dreams everything was so real. He abandon many times through out the relationship. Leaving me in parking lots, left the house in the middle of a fight, left me dateless at a wedding he said he would attended, and than of course broke up with me. Than top all that pain off I still sexual want him somedays. I just want to forget about him because it gets in the way of me moving on sexual or physically with another person. Just want to forget... . When I was with my ex I had very vivid dreams of me walking on her cheating. Its like my subconscious was telling me to get out. Since then I haven't had any dreams of that nature, but dreams of being with her. By the morning it makes the breakup feel fresh again. Being with her? Title: Re: Nightmares/Sexual Pining Post by: Kelli Cornett on November 12, 2015, 01:49:13 AM Every once in a while, I get these horrible nightmares about my ex cheating on me with another woman. It's 5 months out and when I get them I wake up with the worst stomach ache and sadness. In the dreams he's in love with the woman and telling me and leaves. Oddly enough when we were together I use to dream he was sleeping next to me, wake up in a panic and see him not there and start crying only to realize he was never over that night but in my dreams everything was so real. He abandon many times through out the relationship. Leaving me in parking lots, left the house in the middle of a fight, left me dateless at a wedding he said he would attended, and than of course broke up with me. Than top all that pain off I still sexual want him somedays. I just want to forget about him because it gets in the way of me moving on sexual or physically with another person. Just want to forget... . When I was with my ex I had very vivid dreams of me walking on her cheating. Its like my subconscious was telling me to get out. Since then I haven't had any dreams of that nature, but dreams of being with her. By the morning it makes the breakup feel fresh again. OH yes... .ditto... .to all of the above. You aren't alone. I have been and am in your shoes. I know it feels so hurtful and overwhelming at times. It sounds like you are quite hurt. I too have had and do have dreams about my dBPDx. Once when we were broken up, I had a very vivid dream that we had gotten back together but he had knocked up another girl. I actually think it is completely plausible. What I always thought was strange, is that even when we were together, I would have dreams about him cheating- and somehow my subconscious was always correct. I would find out days later that he was cheating. Mine also abandoned me a few times. Once on a park bench, once on the street in the middle of philadelphia, once at a wedding... .on and on. It was rude. What are you doing to take care of yourself? Are you seeing a therapist? maybe a grief counselor or a co-dependency group? Sounds like you should write out a long list of the pros and cons of your relationship... .and the pros and cons of HIM and his personality. I think if you start evaluating the relationship, you might see a little better what the reality was. You already began this in your post, in a way. Then make another list- a list of exactly what you want in a partner and in a relationship. Evaluating what the reality of your relationship was may actually help you. Thank you for your advice, I will be seeing a therapist next week! Hopefully goes well. Title: Re: Nightmares/Sexual Pining Post by: Lonely_Astro on November 12, 2015, 09:50:27 PM I've dealt with nightmares about my pwBPD as well. I think its from unresolved issues (illogical behavior) working itself out. There was a lot of FOG attached to my r/s with her.
As far as sexual pining, I do still have that from time to time. I enjoyed the moment, it was full of passion and connection. Afterward though I would feel very anxious for a few reasons. In the final weeks of a r/s with her, she would make various references about wanting to be sexual with me, but I actually got slightly sick to my stomach when she did that (plus she would never do anything to act on them, even if I didn't reject her - basically it was a game to her). She once said to me when she's in a relationship that she "has to have" sex 3-4 times a week, at least. We never did it that much, but usually 1-2x week, except for one really good week (which was ironically the last week before the push away). So, fast forward roughly 6 weeks and she's made no mention of wanting it. So, my trust issues with her kicked it and I figured I've been replaced. Either that or she lied to me about her sex drive. Either way, she's lied to me about something (at least thats how I feel). If she wanted to sleep with me right now, I'd tell her to go enjoy herself. Simply isn't worth the risk/headache. |