BPDFamily.com

I am new here and my mother is BPD. I have gone NC with her. I have been spending days reading the post here and feel like I am reading from the devils handbook. Everything I read is right out of my life almost verbatum! It is a bit overwhelming and I am still trying to piece everything together.

My question is, have any of you had dreams of your mother chasing you? I have had these dreams reoccuring my whole life! I just discovered the faceless person is my mother. It is the same senerio everytime, I am running through the woods someone (my mother) is chasing me and I am trying to decide whether to keep running or hide somewhere. I never hide in the same place and I don't always keep running. My mother never catches me because the dream just ends before she finds me or reaches me. This dream has haunted me my whole life and I just discovered it was my mother in the dream. It scares me. I know there is signifigance in this dream. Any help will be appreciated!

Hello thewlms   

Welcome. Glad you found us! Sorry that you are finding stories that match yours verbatim however. Would love to hear more of your story.

I'm no expert with dreams but I have looked up my confusing dreams for a long time. There are many sites that give symbolism meaning. Only you can interpret your dreams however. 

Does any of this sound accurate?

":)reaming about being chased generally means that you are "being told by your unconsciousness that you're avoiding an issue or a person."

"Chase dreams are one of several common dream themes, stemming from feelings of anxiety in your waking life. Flee and flight is an instinctive response to a physical threat in the environment. In such dreams, the scenario often features you being pursued by an attacker, an animal or an unknown figure, who wants to hurt or possibly kill you. Consequently, you run, you hide or you try to outwit your pursuer. Your actions in the dream parallel how you would respond to pressure and cope with fears, stress or various situations in your waking life. Instead of confronting the situation, your dream indicates that you have a tendency to run away and avoid the issue. Ask yourself who is chasing you, so that you can gain a better understanding and insight on the source of your fears and anxieties."

You said you've gone NC, how long have you been NC? What happened?

Thank you for an answer to my dream. I am sure that is what it is. I feel like I am trying to figure out what to do in my dream. I am guessing these dreams happen after something that triggers like maybe a fight with my mother or something. I never put 2 and 2 together until recently.

This is my story: I have always felt something was wrong with the way my mother treated me. To explain this to someone who doesn't know the torture of having BPD mother is exhausting and of no help. No one truly understands the depth of what I have endured. I have never met anyone who has a story similar to mine in my life! Until now.  I am 45 years old and have PTSD. I am in therapy and have been for 2 years. I am suffering from severe depression. I went NC for 4 years with my mother. It was the best 4 years of my life! Three years ago my mother and I began talking again. My husband convinced me that I would regret not speaking to her for the rest of my life. Guilt brought me back to her. We didn't heal as she will never apologize for what she has done.

Things were going fine and she seemed to be on her best behavior for a couple years. She didn't want to rock the boat. However, as she became more comfortable again with me she became more wicked. This was a slow subtle process that I was not aware of at the time. My mother had triangulated my relationship with my sister and I had not spoken to her in 2 years! I haven't spoken to my brother in 14 years because of my mother and the way she wants to control all of our relationships. To this day I do not know why we don't talk. Something I want to fix in the near future but I am afraid he will not see the side of my mother I see because he is the GC.

Over the summer we went on vacation with my mother, enabler father, and sister's family. My sister and I haven't spoken in 2 years. It was an awkward experience and my mom's demons flourished in this environment. Long story short, I will not do it again and my mother was horrible! However, what came out of it was my sister and I began speaking to each other again. My mothers worst nightmare! We compared notes and my eyes began to open for the first time.

At first, I thought she was passive aggressive. Then added narcissistic. Then I went to therapy and shared with my therapist my new revelation about my mother being passive aggressive narcissistic. She asked do you think she is borderline too? Not sure? Let me do the research. So I did and Bingo she hit the nail on the head! I found this website during my research and the validation I get from here has made a world of difference!

Having to realize that I can never fix my mother and no matter what I say she will never apologize for her hurtful words has made a huge impact on my life. My sister and I support each other now and we both have gone NC with our mother. I blocked her number, as well as, my enabler fathers number. I blocked her from facebook and I blocked her email too. It took a while for me to be able to look at my phone and not feel an "oh S**t" moment because I was afraid a text would be from her. I still have the feeling the rug is about to be pulled out from under me but that is getting better each day.

My past is still coming to the surface and I see a long road to healing from all the abuse.  I still have daily, sometimes hourly moments of, "that wasn't normal!" and "other people didn't have to go through that!" My husband has been very supportive and even apologized for talking me into repairing my relationship with her. He now sees just as I do that she can not be fixed and I am better off without her. I had to go NC for my own health and sanity!   She is a very dangerous and damaging person. It is sad that I don't have a mother anymore and most "normal" people will say, 'but she is your mother!" they did not have my experience and did not endure the pain I faced daily growing up in her house. I am who I am for a reason and I don't trust people for a reason. It is a good reason built on a lifetime of abuse by a very hateful person. Thank you for listening to my story.