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Well, he's gone to live with his mother. A week before my daughters wedding on top of all our other problems, I found out he had an affair. I'm devastated. He took her to Canada , twice, to a venue with an artist he loves and has become friends with.  It was such a special, loving time for us and he shared it with this woman. In the summer he had berated me in front of our couples therapist ( our third) about what a horrible person I was and I just finally snapped and said I wanted a divorce. We had threatened this to each other several times. So many rages, hoarding, binge eating, car accidents, leaving me alone at the last minute to attend friend and family weddings, the pain these last two years has been tremendous. I should be happy and grateful and serene but I have such moments of unbearable sadness when I think how much we loved each other in the beginning. Everyday he stops by to pick up more things, he's paying God knows how much for storage for all his things. He's out of a job and I am sure he will eventually stop paying for the bills for the house. I will go bankrupt. I know he has a lawyer and I need to get one but its so still so surreal. Wish I could stop, crying 

  So sorry, Beacher!

Is there anything you can do that you enjoy?  Take a walk, a drive, a bubble bath?  A friend or family member you can hang with?  You are facing a tough time, but good times will be back!  Stay in touch with us.

I can only try to imagine what pain and hearthbreak you are going through.

Take your time to grieve now, allow it but try not to dwell to deep either. Seek out some company to talk with or just to be with.

Try look past the idealisation when you can, cause that is the part you will mostly miss, and also try to look at what you will NOT miss, what may bring you a little bit of peace amidst these difficult times.

And meanwhile dont forget to be kind to yourself too.