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Children, Parents, or Relatives with BPD => Son, Daughter or Son/Daughter In-law with BPD => Topic started by: Butterflygirl on November 18, 2015, 09:57:57 AM



Title: Everything is perfect
Post by: Butterflygirl on November 18, 2015, 09:57:57 AM
I wanted to share something and I did not know where to put it.

A few weeks ago I was watching television and out of nowhere a affirmation came to my mind. It was "Everything is perfect." Usually these things only happen once to me and my mind moves on. But this affirmation comes up at least twice a day and I think it is helping me stay optimistic and accepting of my situation with my son and the world.

You may look at the news and see the carnage and think I am wrong. But my faith has always been unconditional and I believe that there is method in the madness. Wherever you see evil you will find goodness combating it. That is the channel I watch.

I want to share this with you all so you can benefit. No matter what is going on around us, "everything is perfect."


Title: Re: Everything is perfect
Post by: lbjnltx on November 18, 2015, 11:02:11 AM
The dialectical dilemma, two opposing truths co existing.

My belief system is more along the lines of "at any given moment in time everything is as it is meant to be" and "at any given moment in time we are all doing the best we can and we all need to try harder".

Rather than ask "Why God?"  I have learned to ask "What do you want me to learn God?"



Title: Re: Everything is perfect
Post by: thefixermom on November 18, 2015, 02:23:59 PM
Two excellent posts above mine!   Yes, everything is perfect. It cannot be any other way. No matter what.  Focus on gratitude and the moment.  One day it will be made much clearer than we can comprehend in our dense little heads.


Title: Re: Everything is perfect
Post by: mimi99 on November 20, 2015, 12:12:48 PM
Thanks for these posts 


Title: Re: Everything is perfect
Post by: jellibeans on November 26, 2015, 11:14:45 PM
I like your post lbj... .I have to say these are statements I say to myself often and have for the past few years. Helps me let go and try not to control. I am not very religious but I do think something can be learned and sometimes when things are at their worst that is hard to see but I remind myself that in time I will see the lesson in this situation and be better for it.

not sure I understand the prefect statement... .maybe I just don't get it. I feel my problems are linked to trying to be prefect. I think my dd feels she has to be prefect. so much so she doesn't want to try to do new things because she lacks the confidence. I remind myself that things don't have to be prefect and that helps me get through my day.


Title: Re: Everything is perfect
Post by: Kwamina on November 27, 2015, 08:09:02 AM
Hi jellibeans

Not that I'm trying to talk for Butterfly Girl of course  but I think the statement "everything is perfect" can be related to the concepts of 'radical acceptance' and 'mindfulness'. Instead of longing for reality to be different, rejecting or denying it, another approach is to acknowledge and embrace reality as it is with all it's imperfections. In a sense you could say, that underneath all the imperfections lies a hidden more glorious perfection. Viewing the world like this would allow us to accept and deal with things the way they are instead of how we might want them to be. Everything is perfect then means a radical acceptance of reality as it. That's my analytical parrot perspective


Title: Re: Everything is perfect
Post by: mimi99 on November 27, 2015, 08:32:11 AM
Yes, everything is perfect in that it is exactly as it is supposed to be at that time. Not that it is without problems or flaws. Aiming for perfection--as in doing something without mistakes--is a recipe for failure. No one can do things perfectly. But accepting that the situation is at it's supposed to be can bring some measure of peace, as we no longer need to control and "fix" it. Letting go of controlling outcomes has been very challenging for me, since as a mother I was used to controlling so many aspects of the lives of my children. I find it very freeing to be relieved of the responsibility of "making things right" at any given time. If I do the right things, and apologize when I do the wrong ones I am freed of any further need to control. It is good to remind myself of this regularly The serenity prayer was the first prayer I learned when I was new in recovery from addiction. It is not a religious prayer (although I have since developed a relationship with God) and can be used in any situation by any person of any faith or belief system.


Title: Re: Everything is perfect
Post by: jellibeans on November 27, 2015, 10:16:41 AM
Thanks for explaining the prefect statement. I just find that word hard to internalize but I do like what you said about radical acceptance. That is something I try to embrace. Most days I do well but it is something I have to constantly think about. When things are going well it is easy to forget the skills learned. That is when I struggle the most. Thank goodness things have been going pretty good lately.