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Just had it confirmed what i had suspected for the last few weeks.

She's a lying, cheating scumbag.

I'm actually glad i got it confirmed because i feel like i can finally let go and begin to move on.

I suspect my moods will change over the next few days but for now i actually feel good which is somewhat shocking, like a huge weight has been lifted off me.

Infern0


Glad you've got some news which has got you 'unstuck'. Now move on and don't look back. I'm sure that in her inner narrative, her cheating was all your fault. 

Your story is a sobering lesson for any on these boards who hope it 'will be different next time'.

Thanks for sharing you story.


Fanny

yes I was blamed for everything and she accused me of doing to her, everything she has done to me, complete and utter projection and nonsense.

I found out the same end of October last year, everything I suspected. I have used those same words since.

It hurts and it hurts a lot as neither you or I ever deserved to be treated like that. One year on your life will be different and you will have found comfort in the fact you walked away never to return.

Thinking of you - look after yourself :)

Good luck Inferno!

I have recently walked away and I know it is for the best. As others have said once months go by we will look back and see how it was the right choice to make.

Keep strong brother!

You made the right decision.  It will be hard but you can do this!   Give yourself 15 min a day to mourn.  Then go on about your day.  When a thought of her enters, acknowledge its just a thought.  And don't let her rent space in your head.  Look after yourself.  Eat right, stay away from too much alcohol.  The relief is temporary and the anxiety the next day will be much worse than normal.

I am out a few months and I feel free.  The world is more colourful and life is good.

What happened?

She was cheating on her previous boyfriend with you. Looking through the prism of personal growth, what made you think you were different?

Congrats, Infern0. I can certainly relate.

I never thought I would be happy to test positive for an STD, but it was the 100%, incontrovertible proof I needed of my dBPDxgf's lying and cheating.

I felt really, really good knowing that I had proof, that everything I had long suspected was true. No amount of gaslighting can combat cold, hard science.

This knowledge was a very powerful feeling, and very much turbo-charged my healing process. It has also given me bullet-proof armor against her subsequent recycle attacks.

Enjoy the recovery process. A happier life awaits!

What did you learn?