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Title: I just heard the hardest thing in all these 19 years. Post by: Joem678 on November 23, 2015, 12:01:18 PM My 7 year old daughter tells me:
"You're my favorite Daddy" Mind you, we've been separated 4 months. Title: Re: I just heard the hardest thing in all these 19 years. Post by: Aussie0zborn on November 28, 2015, 07:18:09 AM Oh dear. I've been there and know how it feels.
My daughter is over 20 now and she knows she has only one Dad. Last year one of her friends told me he is "envious of the relationship" my daughter has with me. He explained that he telephones his father and says, "Hi Dad" and his Dad replies, "who is this?" Some years ago my daughter told my then uBPD wife that "my Dad has always been there for me". I had no idea my daughter felt that way. As a parent I know there were occasions when I felt I wasn't there for her but that was her perception and it was pleasing to hear. Her mother had run off with my best friend. He would bring my daughter, then aged 3 to the door and collect her from me on return. It was dehumasing. One day her mother brought her out and said, "show Aussie what you have in your hand" rather than "show Daddy... ." So from age 3 my own child was being trained to address me by my first name. Sick, isn't it? At age 5 one of her little school friends said to me, "she says she has two Dads". I replied, yes, but only one of them is the real Dad, just like your Dad". The look on her face was one of confusion. Little kids shouldn't have to deal with that. She was made to feel proud and special that she had two Dads and I realised it was best to leave it that way. You might have mixed feelings now but there is more to come. Be prepared for all sorts of nonsense and put a knowing little smile on your face in the knowledge that one day your daughter will process it all and grow up to love her one and only Dad. There is a bond there that can't be broken if you're committed. Of that I am sure. So how did it malke you feel? Do you mind sharing? Title: Re: I just heard the hardest thing in all these 19 years. Post by: 2014 on November 28, 2015, 08:09:41 AM So sorry... .please know that she will grow up to be an adult and she will fully understand one day... .and she be able to think for herself... .again, so sorry
Title: Re: I just heard the hardest thing in all these 19 years. Post by: GlennT on November 28, 2015, 11:59:10 AM Wisdom is the greatest cleanser and healer. The greatest gift you can give your children is this knowledge about BPD, and the where, how, and why, as it pertains to their own, and their parent's lives. |iiii
Title: Re: I just heard the hardest thing in all these 19 years. Post by: Joem678 on November 28, 2015, 12:13:46 PM Aussie, it was the worst feeling. I broke down in private. I did tell her "I'm your only daddy, baby". She smiled and hugged me.
Title: Re: I just heard the hardest thing in all these 19 years. Post by: Aussie0zborn on November 28, 2015, 11:44:15 PM Yes, ofcourse she did. It's a greet feeling, isn't it? You will always have that so don't worry.
As I suggested before, there is more to come so do expect it. Children are most often eager to please their parents so this could happen again to please her mother. The trick is not to shoot the hostage so always put that little smirk on your face knowing what we both know. ;-) |