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Title: Just want to say thank you. Post by: JSF13 on November 23, 2015, 07:46:51 PM Today has been a hard day for me. 3/4 days a week out of 7 are normally hard for me. The only reason all 7 aren't is because I find comfort through all of your stories and helpful posts. Until 3 weeks ago I never knew there was people who knew and understood what i was going though. Like most of you though I now know what happened and understand that this is whats best doesn't stop me from missing her. It's been a month. 3 weeks NC I still find myself asking why couldn't this be different. Why would you drag me into this? Why Why Why? I know why, because BPD. I finally thought at 34 (when we met) that FINALLY I met the one. I wake up every day and roll over to our dog and a baron bedroom 3000 miles away from home with nothing and just wish this was a bad dream I am gonna wake from. I've found comfort in this forum so I just wanted to say thanks.
Title: Re: Just want to say thank you. Post by: Mutt on November 24, 2015, 10:43:56 AM Hi JSF13,
I completely understand. I felt incredibly isolated for almost 8 years. I couldn't put my finger on what was wrong with my ex wife. Family and friends didn't understand. T's ( therapists ) didn't understand. I found bpdfamily.com and people that believed what I said without second guessing me or telling me that I must of done something to make my ex wife react like that. I unburdened the load I was carrying because nobody understood in real life, this place was a life saver. Title: Re: Just want to say thank you. Post by: cloudten on November 24, 2015, 12:07:37 PM Thank you for sharing your story! We are here whenever you need us! I have even made a couple of friends I communicate with outside of the forum, and that is kind of nice. But here, there are people here who support you, who have been in your shoes, and know the depth of your suffering, and know you aren't crazy. The stories are valuable reminders of why we are NC.
You are doing well! "Why? Why? Why?"... .some answers you simply may never know. "Why couldn't this be different?" Because SHE would have had to have been A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT PERSON in order for it to have worked. Simple as that- she would have had to be a completely different person. I know how you feel thinking that you finally met "the one."... .and 34 is young... .or so I would like to believe seeing as today is my 34th birthday. That completely different person is out there- waiting for you to heal and be whole again. That completely different person will know and understand your hurts, and will be able to be empathetic, and have mutual respect and trust, and will be an even better match because you know what you want- and won't settle until you find it. You will mutually respect each other's boundaries and complete each other in mutually healthy ways. Keep your chin up. Hug the dog. Be kind and patient with yourself. Believe it will get better! |