BPDFamily.com

Im NC for more than 5 weeks with my ex BPD gf... .it's hard but I'm OK.

Tonight I'm feeling so more rage and anger that I got a migraine! :S  I'm not able to free my mind. BPD sufferers are expert to destroy lives and then keep going without remorse and empathy. My ex destroyed the life of the guy before me... .I was the replacement... .she told me he was a violent and abusive type of partner... .now I know it's 100% false... .and she did it after being with him for 9 years! 2 years after, that's my turn... .same patern... .cheating and lying and then leaves with another replacement without remorse and empathy and everything is going well for her... .new guy, new friends... .anyways I only hope that one day the Wheel is going to turn... .that their demolition work is gonna ends someday... .

I've been feeling a lot of anger lately too, sometimes rage as well.  However, while I know the new relationship with my replacement will eventually fail, I do not wish her to be unhappy.  Yes, I do feel a great deal of anger right now because she abandon me when I needed her the most, but I don't wish her the pain and anguish that is sure to come.  I feel sad knowing she will never find true love or happiness because of how she is and I fear for any children she might have and what that will do to her when/if she sees how herself and her relationship is damaging them.  It is a sickening cycle that I wish would just end for her.  I wish it could have ended with me.

Personally, I don't think the wheel ever stops.  Even with DBT/meds, which may slow the wheel, I don't think it ever fully stops.  BPD isn't "curable", it's always there.  At least, from everything I've read on it, it seems that way.

CStein... .I think I'm not that far in my Healing process. Wishing her "good things" is for the moment impossible for me... .really impossible. In my book illness is not reason to destroy sincere and sane people.

Hi tribalmart,

It makes sense that you can't wish her good things if you are in the anger stage of grieving. It's natural to feel anger when we are emotionally wounded, it helps us with detaching from an unhealthy relationship. When you say "illness is not a reason in your book" it sounds like resentment. Anger, resentment, bitterness, fear are all connected, if you hold on to that anger and obsess your exBPDgf has control over you.

I dont know how long I will get stuck at that stage of Healing/grieving? but that's long, too long... .and of course I can tell you it is so present in my mind that I can call it obsession