BPDFamily.com

Hello, this is my second time being a newbie here, I lost my previous access but that was like 3 years ago and my relationship with the pwBPD in my life was different then so might as well start anew.

The username comes from a generator because I was too scared of being recognizable. I'm currently struggling with feeling like I'm manipulating and gaslighting everyone in my life even though I rationally know otherwise.

I am not very well at the time being so I can't think of anything to say but thank you for reading me and I hope to help others as I know I will be helped. Thank you for reading this.

Welcome.

I'm a little confused though. Could you please clarify? Do you feel like you are being gaslighted and manipulated or you feel like you are doing that to others?

Hello Chilibean, I'm sorry I didn't reply. Things got tricky.

At the moment I was struggling because I've been gaslighted into thinking I'm gaslighting people, although I knew I wasn't/I'm not. My uBPDgf just keeps calling me a liar and saying I wanted to trick her etc. and because when I was little I suffered from abuse and was not believed (and was called a liar) it really triggered me in the "wait, maybe I *AM* a liar and manipulating them" although clearly I wasn't because there was nothing to gain for me at all, and all the things I did say that she said were lies had physical proof of not being lies.

I'm not a manipulative person because I live in constant fear of being accused of lying to cause drama, and because I've been manipulated and I don't want anyone to feel the way I've felt. So her saying those things really messed me up. Hope this makes sense.

Ok. I get it now. Hope being here will help you grow in your own confidence and strength.