BPDFamily.com

It's hard on holidays like this, reflecting back, that I was with her Thanksgiving of last year and we were happy, or as happy as can be with a BPD. I have been NC for 4 months and 1 week. I still think of her all the time. She's not my first thought in the morning anymore, but my emptiness and solitude are.  A few weeks ago I felt amazing and now back to ups and downs.  I won't waiver from my NC though, because although not linear, I am healing.  It's such a tough and painful journey my friends. It was an addiction, and I am 4 months sober.

Happy Thanksgiving.

This really strikes a chord with me. I think the same thing after every date passes: Halloween, school starting, birthdays, and now the holidays. A year ago I was happy.  I had a family. Now I'm alone and she's with her new victim that has no idea what she really is.

Stay strong. This has to get better with time an understanding that things are worse for them in their heads than they ever will admit or let on. 

Thanks S.O.S. For sure things are awful for them.  I know I am not alone in this, there are millions out there feeling what I feel tonight. A year ago I was happy as well.

I don't remember what happened last year.  It is all just a vague blur ... .probably already well into that emotionally numb state by then.  She went to her parents for the holiday I think.  I honestly don't remember if we did anything together for the holiday or not.   There were still good times though at this point last year.  Damn I miss her so much.   :'(

I have continually dated BPD (not intentionally) since my divorce in 2004.  I love cooking and making a home - especially with a partner.  I had not dated for 2 1/2 years since I ended an abusive relationship that everyone saw clearly but me.  Last year I had the pleasure of cooking a small dinner for my BF and I. Thinking of it now hurts my heart and I have to put it away.  That was before he showed his true colors.  Kind of like when a kid believes in Santa and then finds out he isn't real.  But one good thing is that I know more about my dreams and what will and will not work in a relationship.  No, this Thanksgiving I don't have what I had last year but did I ever really have it? He was a great snuggler and could be very silly.  He was also a liar and I walked on eggshells to keep the peace.  Worried about how he was going to spend Thanksgiving . . . oops . . . he has absolutely no friendships left due to BPD.  Down girl, be still co-dependent caregiver.  Not your monkey, not your circus. 

Holidays are going to be hard, especially the first time they go around after the split. You're likely to have many memories associated with the event and your ex. I know I'm already dreading Christmas and I've always loved Christmas.

The ups and downs are all part and parcel of it. I'm coming up to six months post breakup and I still have lows, although they're not as painful as the ones I've had previously. Good for you for staying NC - it really does help the healing process.

Happy Thanksgiving! I hope you manage to do a few of the things you love today?

Hopeful

No contact was extremely necessary after my marriage to someone who has BPD. I could not have gotten this far without No Contact.