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Title: BPD friend keeps pulling me back in Post by: caughtnreleased on November 28, 2015, 07:41:30 PM I tried taking distance from a BPD friend recently. She immediately noticed it and suddenly started texting me more, showing up to parties that she knew I was going to, interrupting my conversations with new friends I was trying to make. Finally, she contacted me via email saying she was very upset and there was a rift between us that she wanted to reconcile. We ended up meeting because I decided her email was honest and we discussed it and more or less reconciled things.
However... .she also told another friend, let call her X about her concerns about me. This friend X then organized an event where she didn't invite me because she thought BPD friend and I were on the outs. She basically invited all my friends though. Not wanting to take this personally I decided to make other plans, and invited BPD girl to come along. When X found out BPD girl was going to be late to her event because of a concert with me, she rebuked her and BPD girl cancelled on me. I got so mad. I also wrote to X and told her that her actions were not those of a friend. I realize that I went wrong in a few places here... .ie: I am swimming in putrid waters. I need to go into an area with fresh water and swim there... .this swamp stinks. I know I get it. But it's quite hard to make new friends... .I am working on it. Meantime BPD girl was texting and begging me to meet up with her before the event to which I was not invited to. I think she realises now that I may not be ready to reconcile after this. Oh man! this is really difficult... .I've blocked her on my phone... .I need to move on. Any advice on how to not fall back into the pull of BPD friends? Title: Re: BPD friend keeps pulling me back in Post by: dealingwithit on November 29, 2015, 01:38:15 AM If you realize this is an unhealthy relationship, I would not respond to any texts or messages from her or anyone she tries to communicate with as a go-between. If you run into her in public, be polite but firm with your boundaries.
Title: Re: BPD friend keeps pulling me back in Post by: caughtnreleased on November 30, 2015, 04:51:28 PM Ok thanks. I know that people have done this to her before and it tends to make her go even more crazy. That's what i am afraid of. I have blocked her on my phone because she started pleading with me via text to meet up with her... .and I was still upset from the whole drama she had pulled on me. I guess I will do that... .I suppose my weak spot is that I also tend to feel bad when I cut people off like that... .sometimes I find that it increases the drama rather than diffuse it... .
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