BPDFamily.com

My uBPDw is prescribed anti-depressants daily, as well as menapause hormones and other vitamins prescribed by doctors.

She doesn't take them.

I bought a little "7 day daily pill dispensor" box - so that each day the mix of pills is already made up - she just flips a lid and takes what is there. I fill it whenever it's empty. It used to live on the kitchen counter (but that was "too messy" so now it lives in the cutlery drawer.

She doesn't take them.

I used to actually hand them to her every morning, and if ever i was away i'd train my 8yr old to hand them to her. But if I stop, she'll take them maybe 2 times a week.

I've tried talking with her. Expressing my concern for her health. Doesn't make any difference.

Should I keep forcing her to take them? On the one hand, I'm supposed to "let them fail". But on the other hand, I think that her moods are worse when she doesn't take them, and that affects the family. To me it's just another example of her not looking after herself (she's seen doctors and physio's about her back - they've prescribed walking, stretching - which she won't do - even with my involvement/encouragement. She drinks nothing but coke all day and complains about headaches and not sleeping... .She goes on a diet every few years for a few months then stops and puts it all back on... .)

How about a compromise... .is there an alarm clock that you could set as a reminder to her?  Or perhaps program her phone to send her a reminder text at a certain time every day?

Do you think something like this would work?

Please do not think of training your 8 year old to remind her... .parentification of children is detrimental to their emotional growth in the long run... .let your child be as much a child as waranteed by age.

WK, my wife is on alot of meds too and she does need them.  She is pretty good a taking them, but will abuse them and also threaten to go off them.   I don't haggle or argue with her over it.  I strongly express I want her to take them properly and that if she doesn't and starts to tank I will dissolve the marriage because I can't live with her continuously tanking with kids around. Things are rough enough.  I leave it up to her, but I'm ready to act if i need too.  I often feel like I have my finger hovering over the "nuke the family" button but I've lost the stomach for tolerating somethings, whether it be substance abuse, inappropriate relationships, overspending, verbal abuse.  Not sure if this is the right way to handle it.  It seems controling and it is not a good feeling.  But the Nuke button sometimes is the only way I've found to get movement on some of the things that effect me greatly.  Of course, I may have to press it someday too and that's taken some planning.  Not sure if your issue rises to this level.

I will sometimes remind my wife to take her pills, and she has calendar alarms set up on her phone. Generally, she's pretty good about taking them. If she was actively or passively resisting medication compliance, I don't know if I would take action to escalate or let her fail. Tough call.