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Title: Space Post by: IsItHerOrIsItMe on December 02, 2015, 07:58:49 AM From a closed topic:
YOU WANT SPACE. Tell him what you want, then take the space. You don't need his approval for it. You don't need him to agree that it is a good idea. You don't need him to want it as well. (He clearly doesn't) You don't need to take care of him when he is feeling needy. Those are his feelings, and he can find a way to cope on his own. Something about this is really hard for me... .I'm sure part of it is dealing with my wife's reaction (we're married, we should want to be together... .You had space all day(at work), or whatever else she says to blur the lines between spending time together and spending all time together). In her world we don't spend time together, but in reality we spend 95% of my non-work time together... .there's always a reason it "doesn't count" as time together. So anyway, is it just me, is it part of the co-dependency personality, or middle child that we just don't want to confront them or put up with their reaction? Title: Re: Space Post by: Chilibean13 on December 02, 2015, 08:51:58 AM Not sure what causes it, but it's a learned response we have to trying to keep things calm. We don't want to rock the boat out of fear of a melt down. WE haven't set clear boundaries so just the though of telling them "no" is scary, new territory.
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