BPDFamily.com

Hello everyone,

This is my first post here. I have been married for three and half years so far, and my wife has been recently diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. She is pressuring me to have kids (we already have one from her previous relationship) and I am really pressured to do that! I feel that I am forced to leave in order to let her go and have kids because she keeps saying that she will have menopause within the next few years and she want to have more kids so bad! I feel so much pressure because on one side she is not stable, and on the other side she is throwing the card of her age and the tight time-window for having kids. I am very stable and happy mellow person - or I used to be, but now feel so much pain and depression because I am stuck with this ethical dilemma. I have been trying by best throughout our marriage and I have been taking care of her and my step son financially. I am a full-time PhD student who is juggling multiple part-time jobs while she is not working; I started getting grey hair because of stress! :'(

I am a preeminent resident (not citizen) and she threatened me the other day that she will take me to court and kick me out of the country if I dare to leave her; typical, that same morning I am the best thing in her life, and at the evening I am the devil himself! She still sometimes admits how good I am (all her family loves me and know how patient I have been) and says it is crazy how patient I am. I can go for hours and hours... but all is the same of what is written by others on many blogs. I do not where to go or what to do; consult with therapist or attorney? I would appreciate any help. Thanks!

Please don't let yourself be bullied into bringing a baby into the world to make someone else happy! Life is so hard already for you and your wife. Tell her you can adopt? Maybe that will take the pressure off? I wish you good things.