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We had some e-mailed conversation today. He asked that we go together to handle the divorce. I asked him why he was bringing that up now since we cannot file until Jan. 17th after the years separation. I said isn't that ironic that it is approximately 9 years from the day we met! He told me he wanted open communication with me and he thought he was blocked from my phone. I said, no, he was never blocked- that I put the phone on do not disturb at night so I can sleep. I said since you want to communicate, I was wondering if he would tell me if he was planning on getting married after we divorce, since he seemed so adamant about getting one. I also went ahead and asked if she was pregnant (since I am so curious and think it may be true) He just kept ignoring my question. He sent me a photo I had sent him a long time ago of a bear left in a bus station... .something about "you abandoned me and you said you would always be there"... he said it always makes him sad. I said, me too. I said I guess I am to assume what I think is true since he would not respond to my question... .I told him I was very happy for him if that is what he wanted and I will always care about his well being. He told me all of this contact was making him have "feelings". I said what kind of feelings? he said, " So all this conversation today you feel nothing after months of not speaking?" I said "What do you want me to say... .You are in another relationship and as far as I know, getting married."... .That was it. Never answered my question, which I really think if she wasn't he would have said... .I can't think of any reason why you would want your stbx wife to think you had knocked up some girl if it wasn't true! I see the abandonment issue come up again... .I sometimes think he was punishing me by seeing her because I filed for separation... .but all this time, he was the one that pushed me away. I don't know... .I wonder if he does have feelings or is he just playing me. I don't think that's the last I will hear from him. I just want to tell him he broke my heart and the time has long past for repairing anything... .I am still sad. I want him to regret what happened between us. I really do... .I think he knows he is not in a better situation except I am sure he is happy he feels he can manipulate her. Do you think he was projecting his "feelings" or was he just trying to find out if I still care? I am confused. Any thoughts? Last summer he told me we needed the year apart because too much had happened. He said we could always get back together... .I told him not if he got someone pregnant we couldn't. That's why I wonder if that was his plan or he was just telling me that so he could see how this r/s worked out for him.

This is kind of my worst nightmare of hearing from my ex.

I mean, I won't, but he's heavy into AA, thus big on "making amends," and he's been with his new woman for almost a year now. I just read a story she published in a literary magazine that's all about wanting to get pregnant. But I suspect he has been MIA for 9 months partly because he knows or fears that being in contact with me will reanimate his feelings.

Ergo: fear that he will be in contact, hint at vague "feelings," yet have knocked her up.

It would be the worst.

So... .you have my sympathy.

Thank you... .I just emailed him and responded to his question of if I had feelings. I said yes- you broke my heart! I have wanted to tell him that. I've been crying ever since, but he needs to hear it!

Good for you!