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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship => Topic started by: Polis_Ohio on December 04, 2015, 10:51:49 AM



Title: Why is ex dating someone who slanders her?
Post by: Polis_Ohio on December 04, 2015, 10:51:49 AM
So my ex is now dating a guy who cheated on her, doesn't want to take care of her kid and said terrible things about her. Not only that but when she was depressed she slept with him and told me how horrible she felt after that. She came to me asking for me to be there for her, emotionally when he left her the first time, telling her how he doesn't care about her feelings. Not only that but this guy said terrible things about her to his sisters and my friend (who told me).

Now she's dating this guy? I don't get it... .I am pissed because when we were married he tried to break us up, now he gets what he wants. He is a horrible person.

I asked if she was doing ok and she said yes but doesn't want me to worry about her... .what? We were best friends and she dragged my heart through the mud after she left, clinging to me for support. Now we are not friends?

I don't get it. I want to yell at her and tell her off when she FINALLY gets the rest of her stuff Sunday but it's kind of pointless. He is going to leave her for someone who he has more respect for, he is feeding her BS and she is feeding him BS, her facade. Nothing I can do but I am pissed she wasted my emotional capacity crawling to me for help; then she asked to borrow a bit of money for her car.

I want to confront her so bad but I feel that it's fruitless.


Title: Re: Why is ex dating someone who slanders her?
Post by: shatra on December 04, 2015, 11:08:41 AM
  You are not angry with her?

Why would you lend her money?

Are you angry with the new guy, especially since he tried to break you 2 up?

She might choose someone "bad" like him so she can project her own negative stuff out onto him (i.e. "I'm not so bad, he's really really bad)

Or maybe her low self-esteem makes her choose someone like him who isn't a good partner?


Title: Re: Why is ex dating someone who slanders her?
Post by: Polis_Ohio on December 04, 2015, 12:15:16 PM
I loaned her money because a while ago I told her I would help her get a car if she would pay me back, that was when she was alone and was saying she was not going to bother with dating.

I am angry with her and this guy, he is terrible. His best friend doesn't even talk to him anymore. She treats me like we are "friends", not true friends but someone to talk to when she is alone I guess.

Sunday could not come faster. Just get her out of my life; I feel so bad for her son I was the only person she has ever dated that he has called dad. Now she's dating a guy who doesn't even want to deal with her kid.