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I am a Christian And so I've been asking myself what is Gods will in all of this. What is his plan?  My desire is that she would return in the near future or that "she be the one" for me.

Of course I want Gods will. And the fact a door is shut is significant. Although she does respond to texts for most part. I am trying to keep that door open


She's hitting the bar scenes. Is a gorgeous woman and can meet any man she wants I suspect. But will that relationship last. Will God use her circumstances and my time of trying to grow to bring us together in his timing.

The relationship didn't start out right if you know what I mean. So maybe God would and could never bless it.  But I hope his plan includes us together

The

Skopikaz,

You seem willing to.do the right thing.

It's natural to seek guidance and answers from these types of relationships. 

What are the next steps for you?

I am seeing a counselor. Went once. Will continue

I am going to try to keep Lines of communication open but not expect anything from her. Be kind if she reaches out.

I am going to try to grow more emotionally. Mentally. Physically. Spiritually

I actually am talking to a female friend to try to get my mind off things and to move on. Someone I can see dating potentially

Hi ,

I understand what you're going through , even if god is not answering your prayers  as of yet but there is an unknown reasons for these relations to brake , we don't know why now  ?

But in the near future,  am hoping you wil ,,,keep your faith .

I like your commitments. What excites you about life right now?

What are you going to.do to grow emotionally and mentally?

Physically?

Spiritually?

Emotional growth - counseling and reading books they suggest

Physically - walking getting in shape which helps emotions to I think

Spiritually - reading spiritual books more. Bible. Prayer. Etc

Mentally - word games to keep mind active and the reading I mentioned to learn things

Don't get me wrong I pray she have change of heart soon and pray it's gods will.

We weren't right initially.  Maybe God knows I need to grow and she needs to see grass isn't greener. But if she does have BPD or something similar, maybe she's not capable of change without help. So she will continue down that path. A path which to me seems more difficult and lonely and unfulfilling in the end

Skopikaz,

If you see this path as "A path which to me seems more difficult and lonely and unfulfilling in the end", why are you open to it?

I like your goals and actions.

I was in a BPD relationship for 15 years, and I realise that mental health is difficult. Just like physical health it needs work and attention. That's one of my goals too.

Keep it up |iiii

Maybe GODS part in this is to keep the door shut between you as he knows she is not the one for you & she would cause you more pain & heartache in the long run. You may feel like she is the one whilst you are heartbroken but obviously GOD has got other ideas at the moment.

I dealt with the same question you are posing. In the end I realized that Gods will for me was to seek him in my life. To focus ALL of my efforts to draw closer to him. My healing truly started when I let go of my uBPDxw and let go of trying to control things to save my marriage. I had no control anyway as my X has a free will and only she can control her actions.

The end result of focusing on my relationship with God through Christ was that he brought me complete peace and joy and emotional health. Even though I'm saddened that my marriage failed and my kids have suffered I'm healthier and happier than I've ever been. I'm sure I would have come out of my divorce bitter and angry if I didn't let go and focus on God.

I also know that Gods will for my X is not to get back with me but for her to fully accept him in her life. It's the only way she will ever be at peace and the only way she may come to the realization that she needs help.

Peace to you!

MWC... .

I have asked the same question - many people through 1,000's of years have questioned the same. 

In some ways I think the real question I have is what do you want from and for me going forward?  It is unlikely that I could absorb nor accept the answer if it were revealed to me.

So the simple answer for me is that as long as I am focused on trying to follow, then whatever is happening right now is God's will. 

Not intended to be a curt answer, just what else could you possibly come up with?  Keep you heart and mind open and willing and continue to pray and it will happen as it is supposed to.

Blessings to you.

Good answer. A friend of mine puts it this way. Just always do the next right thing whatever that is... .