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Just making a note of these. She called me today as she was "feeling a bit out of it" we talked for around 10 minutes. I just kept it light, no bringing up us or anything she just asked me about my weekend and told me about hers.

Is it a good sign for her to be initiating contact now even if its short? Can this be built on?

Of course inferno , just practice patience , they don't operate the way we do they are masters at circling just keep your cool and listen  !

It sounds like it was just the right amount of contact. Baby steps. No triggering each other.

How are you on the Staying Tools, like validation? This sounds like good practice with the hope of something more.

I'm pretty up on the tools, my problem in the past has always been remembering to use them when i myself am emotionally triggered

To be honest i'm in no rush, the last two weeks have been a good r&r for me, i have been to the gym 6 nights a week and eating/sleeping well, i have had some comments the last couple of days that i'm "looking good"

The energy drain that i was experiencing has gone and i get through the whole day with energy, (the last few weeks we were arguing i was constantly exhausted) i also had my first counselling session last week and have another on friday.

I do hope we can reconcile properly, but i'll leave it to her to make any advances, we seem in a sort of "stand offish" position at the moment, when we talk, there is much unsaid... but I don't feel the need to go there at this stage.

Hi inferno,

It might be important to leave the 'much unsaid' just as it is. When you feel the need to explore these aspects of the relationship, maybe the place to explore it is in counselling.

R&R is really helpful. Sleep, exercise, and a little space. :)

It helps us to be in these grounded places to make decisions and work through some of our own stuff. Figure out what it is that we want.

I think it's all good.