BPDFamily.com

Don't know if I am ruminating or trying to understand. 

Just thinking back about how it all unfolded and was wondering how does it happen that one day a split opens up and never the other side shall be joined?

Is there a critical mass reached or is there a catalyst that starts it and then it just goes off on its own... .

BPD is an emotional regulation disorder. What is felt one day may not be felt the next. My BPD mom alternated between saying I was the best kid ever (in context of what others told her about me, which validated her as a mother-person as being good) and "sometimes I wish I'd never adopted you!" Or, "people think that you are so great, but they don't know the real Turkish like I do!" And the back again. She believed what she felt at the time.

My lying, cheating, child-neglecting Ex said, "a woman of character deserves a man of character. In this, you failed." Only after she left did she paint me white. Very confusing. Even if you have a strong sense of self, it's confusing. Have you seen this?

BPD BEHAVIORS: Splitting (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=62033.0)

WOW, those are some harsh words.  My ex has said some things of similar intensity. 

As a non, I felt like I had an innate sense that told me - she never really meant to be that harsh and so somehow that made it all "understandable".  Not sure where I got that from but I know that I let her off the hook countless times for saying and doing the meanest things to me because she did not really mean it.  Have you felt the same?

BTW, that link on splitting is really really good.  I am scheduled to finalize divorce next week and fantasizing I will show my wife this post with the hope that maybe she will split back after reading it... .  Strange, so much of what the splitting article discusses encompass arguments my wife and I had - I really do want to show her article as she will recognize the words from this as my words to her for 10 years.

Thanks Turkish