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Title: Going nc but scared Post by: Scopikaz on December 11, 2015, 03:04:23 PM I've been doing ok some days but not others. I really haven't gone nc yet. For most part she responds but I talk about "us" and she shuts that down.
But today I am attempting nc. I hope I can do it until I am healed. But I'm scared she won't ever reach back out And simply move on as if I never existed I guess by limited contact at least there's a feeling of there's some hope she might decide to come back. With nc seems like there's no chance of a reconciliation at all. Why am I so afraid of losing her completely. The long litany of issues she has and pattern of her life should make it easy. But it doesn't. Title: Re: Going nc but scared Post by: troisette on December 11, 2015, 03:44:19 PM Empathy Scopikaz. No one here is going to say that no contact is easy, but most will say it's the best way out.
I am finding that it goes in stages. I'm ten or eleven weeks in nc now, I'm even proud that I've stopped counting the exact dates! At first it was hell, wanting to receive contact while knowing it would not be good. Our hearts don't work at the same rate as our brains. Emotions can lag behind intellectual rationalisation. But it gets easier as the weeks go by and I am pleased that I resisted answering what may have been a hook to break no contact last week. Yes, the idea of no contact is to avoid reconciliation, recognising that recycling would only create more pain for you. It's walking away, cold turkey, from an addictive relationship. There is a good article on this site about going nc, the reasons for doing so and the benefits. You might find it helpful. I wish you luck, I sympathise with your self-questioning; I hope you are able to overcome your fears. |