BPDFamily.com

Hey everyone. My on and off and now ex gf for the past 2 years has BPD and we broke up a week ago. Since than I told her if she was sure that I don't want her contacting me again bc its ridiculous at this point. I can't blame her for my personal problems and at times she really helped me out but honestly I was unhappy at some point and so I let her know and shortly after we broke up. The thing is that now I really wanna move on for good this time and it's like she's lowkey lingering around. Liking my friends post on Instagram and commenting on them. Pretending like it's appropriate to give me or my parents a gift for christmas and all that. I told her I didn't want her to go through with that if she was sure we were gonna break up but she already had concert tickets for me which she tried to get a mutualish(grew up w her but this friend and i are much closer bc than they are) friend to give me but i found out it was from her so i didn't go to it. Basically, I don't have anything to say I'm just really frustrated and I love her but I'm angry with myself for allowing someone to do all that she's done to me over the past 2 years or so and I don't wanna show it but can someone give me the answer finally? Like how do I just not have her in my life anymore and how do i forever forget this. I already can't run away from the fact that I allowed someone to treat me like that but don't act all sympathetic about it later on. I know part of it is the BPD and she was going to a therapists for it and I went to her therapists multiple times with her to show support and whatnot but like damn. I guess this was more to vent so I'm sorry but can someone lead me in the right direction. Like how do I accept everything? I haven't been able to do it before and I really want to this time bc I'm not a mean person so I won't be able to tell her to just f off or whatever bc that's not who I am. I love her but like it's time to choose myself right now. Again, I'm sorry for sounding like a terrible person but I feel like I'm crazy now.

hi leatherbag,

*welcome*

I understand. A relationship with a person with BPD ( pwBPD ) feels like we're on an emotional roller-coaster. A pwBPD want emotional intimacy but it triggers the disorder when we get too close and they push you away. The distance triggers the person's fear of abandonment and they try to pull you closer. The push / pull behavior can feel like crazy making behavior with the non-disordered partner.

I think that you have the right idea with self care, it takes time to reach acceptance and it helps when we self protect for awhile so that we can detach and heal our emotional wounds. Do you live together?

Nah we don't. I haven't seen her in a week like I said but I havent seen her around campus either which sadly is bound to happen.