Title: What is the objective on this forum Post by: guy4caligirl on December 12, 2015, 08:07:23 AM I wonder sometimes , what is the objective on this forum to learn about the illness for self education, reconciling, or healing ?
Title: Re: reconciliation Post by: C.Stein on December 12, 2015, 08:17:51 AM I wonder sometimes , what is the objective on this forum to learn about the illness for self education, reconciling, or healing ? All of them. Healing, understanding, support (both giving and receiving), knowledge, guidance, distraction from your pain, ... .? What else seems appropriate for you? What do you get out of these forums? Title: Re: reconciliation Post by: guy4caligirl on December 12, 2015, 08:23:14 AM I wonder sometimes , what is the objective on this forum to learn about the illness for self education, reconciling, or healing ? All of them. Healing, understanding, support (both giving and receiving), knowledge, guidance, distraction from your pain, ... .? What else seems appropriate for you? What do you get out of these forums? all the above yes ! I like to as much as I learn ,and gain knowledge, and really it's a great help to be a better partner in the future , the comments opinions and experiences of other member get me to see what I don't see ! Live and learn . Title: Re: reconciliation Post by: fromheeltoheal on December 12, 2015, 08:32:00 AM I was losing my sanity in the relationship, and learning about the disorder suddenly made everything make sense. Her behaviors were not acceptable, completely unacceptable, but at least they became understandable.
Title: Re: reconciliation Post by: guy4caligirl on December 12, 2015, 08:42:39 AM I was losing my sanity in the relationship, and learning about the disorder suddenly made everything make sense. Her behaviors were not acceptable, completely unacceptable, but at least they became understandable. Good to hear , optimistic thread ! Are you back together ? Title: Re: reconciliation Post by: fromheeltoheal on December 12, 2015, 08:48:26 AM I was losing my sanity in the relationship, and learning about the disorder suddenly made everything make sense. Her behaviors were not acceptable, completely unacceptable, but at least they became understandable. Good to hear , optimistic thread ! Are you back together ? Nope, I left her 3 years ago and would never go back, that's why I'm optimistic now, but I also realize that my path is not everyone's and everyone is different, and learning about the disorder can make everything understandable, which is most of the battle in getting our feet back on the ground. Title: Re: reconciliation Post by: guy4caligirl on December 12, 2015, 09:00:04 AM I was losing my sanity in the relationship, and learning about the disorder suddenly made everything make sense. Her behaviors were not acceptable, completely unacceptable, but at least they became understandable. Good to hear , optimistic thread ! Are you back together ? Nope, I left her 3 years ago and would never go back, that's why I'm optimistic now, but I also realize that my path is not everyone's and everyone is different, and learning about the disorder can make everything understandable, which is most of the battle in getting our feet back on the ground. I feel I am on a solid ground , after learning about the illness ,I do understand her better and don't take her rages as directed to me personally, what percentage do you think it would be of a future successful reconciliation, knowing what I know now ? Title: Re: reconciliation Post by: fromheeltoheal on December 12, 2015, 09:11:48 AM I was losing my sanity in the relationship, and learning about the disorder suddenly made everything make sense. Her behaviors were not acceptable, completely unacceptable, but at least they became understandable. Good to hear , optimistic thread ! Are you back together ? Nope, I left her 3 years ago and would never go back, that's why I'm optimistic now, but I also realize that my path is not everyone's and everyone is different, and learning about the disorder can make everything understandable, which is most of the battle in getting our feet back on the ground. I feel I am on a solid ground , after learning about the illness ,I do understand her better and don't take her rages as directed to me personally, what percentage do you think it would be of a future successful reconciliation, knowing what I know now ? Hard to say, as mentioned everyone's different, but if you do reconcile you will probably be able to feel grounded better, instead of something like the continuous confusion and lack of understanding I experienced in the relationship, before I ever knew about the disorder. And the folks on the Staying board have developed and use a lot of tools for dealing with borderlines, which adds to the skill set along with the understanding. Take care of you! Title: Re: reconciliation Post by: MapleBob on December 12, 2015, 10:16:10 AM I would, yes, but it would take ... .a lot. I said "yes" in the poll because I would definitely give HER a chance.
Title: Re: What is the objective on this forum Post by: Skip on December 12, 2015, 11:14:02 AM This is the Board's stated mission. Do we need to add anything?
Saving a relationship that is in or near breakup Who should post here: Is your relationship falling apart? This is a relationship recovery board. If you feel you have an impending break up or have just broken up, post here. To start a discussion, click --> here (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?action=post;board=15.0) Objective: There are there no sure-fire tricks. Every relationship unique. Every breakup is unique. However, there are a lot of things that we naturally do at times like this that makes matters worse - we need to identify and stop. There are also things that help relationship recovery and we should pursue these to improve our odds. General Approach: There are a few things to consider as you read this:
The approach is four-fold: 1) to understand the fundamental struggles of a person with BPD and the challenges that this disorder brings to a relationship; 2) to understand our role in the relationship problems; 3) to learn tools and techniques to help in day to day interactions; and 4) to learn healthy and constructive ways to develop ourselves outside of the relationship. Additional Guidelines for this Board: Please read the community guidelines (see link at the bottom of every thread). The following guidelines are also in effect for this board:
Additional Guidelines for this Board: Little is intuitive in a BP relationship. We encourage all members to read our starting guide - Before You Can Make Things Better - You Have to Start by Not Making Things Worse. This board is for members that believe their partner exhibits BPD traits or other impulse disorder and are now trying to understand what this means, and whether they should try to work on the relationship or abandon it. Understand the thought patterns of a BPD spouse, girlfriend, or boyfriend. Learn relationship building and communication skills and strategies for personal growth. Title: Re: What is the objective on this forum Post by: hollycat on December 16, 2015, 06:04:57 AM ex's aren't always "she." My BpdH is a very alpha male.
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