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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship => Topic started by: Submarine on December 13, 2015, 03:17:35 AM



Title: sustained harassment
Post by: Submarine on December 13, 2015, 03:17:35 AM
hi, i'm new to the group. i'm here bec of my experiences regarding a friend with whom I had a falling out 

i stopped speaking to him 2 years ago after an angry outburst he had in a public place. he started attacking me verbally on the basis of an unsolicited tarot card reading  and said that he was watching me at a party a few nights prior. i immediately went NC after this incident.

a smear campaign ensued wherein he started posting open letters on fb, addressed to someone he nicknamed "idiot girl" and these posts contained sensitive information about my sex life and love life which i confided in him as a friend. he also started sending angry messages asking for his book back. i stayed NC and blocked him. the "idiot girl" posts stopped after 2 weeks but resumed again a year later; a mutual friend alerted me to the post. what's even more unsettling is that, in this post, he says he was talking to someone about recent developments in his target's love life.

i approached a psych this year out of distress that the posts had resumed and was told that i was dealing with a BPD individual. i also reconnected with an old friend just last month who told me that the BPD was talking to them earlier this year, saying i had cut him off on fb and that he was hurt over it. he shared no details about our falling out and made it appear that my cutting him off was arbitrary.

i'm here because it has been 2 years and i'm tired. i have stayed NC and quiet for so long. is it over only when a borderline says it's over?



Title: Re: sustained harassment
Post by: cloudten on December 13, 2015, 10:10:34 AM
wow that sounds like a really emotional, difficult situation. I have often felt the same way as you- is it only over when they say it's over?

Maybe.  I prefer to think that only you can let the crazy into your life. I would cut absolutely every string tying you to him. He must know that he is still getting to you somehow.

In my case, I was finally proactive. I got a restraining order- and so far- it has worked. It doesn't sound like you have enough to go on for a restraining order. It might be worth talking to the authorities... .what he is doing on facebook could be harassment.

I'm sorry for what you are going through.