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Title: Been Holding back on calling "parental alienation" but should I let loose? Post by: calidad on December 15, 2015, 09:06:49 PM My boys have come home and told me 5 different things my ex has said in the past 6 months that would qualify as alienating statements. We are in a move away battle right now. The pattern is clear. Because these are coming from the boys and are technically hearsay, I have steered clear of raising this with the CE.
However, I feel I am doing them a disservice by not raising this. Since we all know too well where the alienation road leads, I wonder if I should bring it up? She's going to deny it of course so it's he-said she-said but if he feels there's a real chance of an alienation situation, maybe raising the issue will give him pause? Thoughts? Title: Re: Been Holding back on calling "parental alienation" but should I let loose? Post by: SamwizeGamgee on December 16, 2015, 01:25:25 PM If I get to the divorce point, I am sure I will be looking down the barrel of parental alienation, so I have sought advice on this subject. My wife already badmouths me - even in my presence. She also has behaviors which I think are instinctive for her, such as saying things like ":)addy didn't give us any money" or leaving the room crying when I ask the kids something positive - basically she's programming the kids that I'm some kind of monster. I have also read ":)ivorce Poison" and "How to Raise the Kid You Love With the Ex You Hate" which relates.
The strategy I have decided upon is to share with the kids my concerns about alienating behavior, but, to have the explicit information come from a therapist meeting with the kid in question. You do not want to be the one putting words or ideas into the kids' heads, but, you have a parental duty to protect them from the manipulation. So, talk to a therapist, tell him/her your concerns and have the T address it in sessions. Then, for your own behavior, I still think the best advice is to walk above the mudslinging. Keep being an ace parent, and culture emotional intelligence in kids (most importantly teach them a sense of self). Maybe not right away, but I have faith that kids will see through crazy on their own eventually. Sympathy for you facing this challenge. |iiii Title: Re: Been Holding back on calling "parental alienation" but should I let loose? Post by: livednlearned on December 16, 2015, 03:05:17 PM Calidad, I think Dr. Craig Childress is in California -- I know he's done consultations with others here (maybe you... .?). I wonder if he would have some insider insight into how California CEs think about PA and whether it's helpful to bring it up or not.
www.drcachildress.org/ |