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Title: the threats havent stopped Post by: Didntdeservethat on December 16, 2015, 06:41:55 AM 4mths seperated, 2mths NC from my ex Bp,Scitzophenic udBPD gf. After three years of abuse raging and finally trying to have me arrested and evicted from my own home i had enough and asked her to leave, after much resitance she left. She has since fabricated horrific stories of abuse control and even rape. Im still in shock.
For the first month she called and text daily abusing me blaming me for destroying her dream life whilst demanding financial support. The second month she became more calculated withdrew $80,000 from my account and stole all of my wine and furniture from our storage unit. When confronted she went into a rage and has been NC since The last 6 weeks ive been getting missed calls and abusive text messages from a souce calling themselves annonymous but refering to her, they have also sent warning messages to others of my fb friends. Two weeks ago i was in her country on business and was stopped and questioned by police. My T has been adamant that i not respond to the threats but the police thing took me back to the trauma. Coincidently i got a message from her sister today wondering if i was ok and wishing me a nice Christmas. I responded by telling her that these threats wont stop so i am now forced to pass them onto the authorities to investigate. Her immediate response was to distance herself saying she thought it had all stoped. Have i done the right thing. Title: Re: the threats havent stopped Post by: ReclaimingMyLife on December 16, 2015, 09:03:21 AM So sorry you are going thru this, DDT. I have opted for a similar No Response approach to threats, stalking, harassment. I have taken my strategy from Gavin de Becker's book, The Gift of Fear. You might want to get it.
de Becker does, however, say that action should be taken when there is an actionable crime (tire slashing, etc). Theft of $80K furniture and wine would seem to fall in that category. Have you gotten your money and stuff back? If not, seems like talking to an attorney might be a good idea. That is a LOT of money. Get the book. It saved my sanity over the past year! Title: Re: the threats havent stopped Post by: Didntdeservethat on December 16, 2015, 03:35:24 PM Thank you for your advice no ive not heard from her since she stole those things but the reality is she has cost me around 450k over the three year's plus all of the emotional trauma. I was foolish as early on the relationship id met friends of hers that had done worse, married old wealthy guys then divorced 3-5 yrs later with considerable $10m settlements, obviously this one was trying for the same even though she said it wasnt about the money. I think if it wasnt for her mental state she may have achieved the same, the advice from my lawyers has been to let this go as a lucky escape. My feelings and trust have been mortally wounded as it took me a lot to let her in then she destroyed me and left. We understand how they get in mirroring etc then how the cycle turns and ends but my problem is how does someone recover who had trust issues in the first place
Title: Re: the threats havent stopped Post by: ReclaimingMyLife on December 16, 2015, 04:33:33 PM So sorry to hear of the financial loss you've sustained. I lost considerably less though it was a large portion of my annual income that I couldn't afford to give away (tho I did... .repeatedly). I have not pursued it either and have opted to consider it a SMALL price to pay for my freedom. I'd happily pay that amount many times over to live happily free and clear of the insanity of that r/s. Sounds like you are in a similar spot though your dollar amount was much greater.
Since that is taken care of (good for you for checking), please take a looksie at The Gift of Fear. It is really wonderful reading for anyone in general and for us in particular. As I said, it gave me a strategy and sanity! Keep us posted, you are fighting the good fight. RML |