BPDFamily.com

Many of us suffered and still suffering ... .

With the end of the year approaching ... .

Isn't it time to look back and see what you could have done differently dealing with your break up that might have speed up the healing process?

Are you on a solid ground ?

Any improvement on your path to recovery ?

A year ago, I knew something was wrong. My wife was dealing with a lot of stress and going through bouts of depression and anger. I tried to treat her extra-nice with a holiday trip to pamper her, helping her with medication changes that might help, and so on. But she got worse. And worse. I didn't know anything about BPD yet.

Over the past year, she was diagnosed with BPD and enrolled in a DBT program. She became more aggressive and abusive, and I struggled with my own self-esteem and feelings of hopelessness. We started marriage counseling at her insistence. In the summer, I told myself I would get a divorce if things didn't improve soon.

In the fall, I actually started to research BPD for the first time, and it was a shocking revelation. I don't have to tell you what it's like to suddenly see an explanation that fits, that makes sense, for all the incomprehensible behaviors. I learned about co-dependency, about boundaries, about validation. I started working on myself. I gave myself permission to not be her slave.

As fall progressed into winter, I began to detach myself from her, and she reacted by getting more aggressive, more abusive, more irrational. I focused on my daughter's well-being, as she was caught in the middle of a terrible, destructive home environment.

Now, we sleep in separate rooms, and I avoid communicating with her as much as possible, because she turns almost any interaction into a conflict. I'm working on my exit strategy. I expect to be in a better place at this time next year, but not with her. It's still possible that there could be a breakthrough that would lead us toward mending the relationship, but I think that would require a Christmas miracle. Unfortunately, I'm not Christian.

I went thru the same exact ting with my Ex BPDGF , I joined this site after the break up last November,

When they take us for granted they don't  know what they have till they loose it and sometimes they go into a worth relation with other man and become more miserable and never come back they like ben stuck IMO , I could be wrong .

I am not encouraging you to divorce you know what you need to do in your case , my ex told me that when she is in rage to be compassionate to her and not to advise her just understand and give her lotsa love . I am sure you tried this  I will say try more maybe Santa will show up on your door  :)